Oh noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

petang tadi bawak shahrin pi klinik sebab dia demam panas dari semalam tak mau kebah. aku dah jelum2 dari semalam sampai petang tadi tak turun gak temperature dia, panas sampai dia asyik nangeh sakit kepala katanya. manja pun ada tu..nama ja abang long heheh

doktor tu check lebih kurang & kena la rm28 untuk ubat demam, batuk, Vit. C (aku pun tak paham pasaipa dia prescribe vit tapi tadi takdan nak tanya sebab kalut nak balik dah) & ubat hingus untuk Nazrin. dia tu plak beringuih meleleh2 dah dekat 2 bulan tak baik2 jugak..heran sungguh..sampai belemueh baju dia buat lap hinguih dia tu..ughhh

takdan makan lagi pun ubat baru beli tu, alih2 malam ni shahrin segar bugar & alhamdulillah sihat dah..dia dah pueh lena sehari hari ni, pukui brapa dia nak tidoq malam ni aku tatau la..layankan je la..

yang nak cerita sebenaqnya pasai aku tumpang penimbang kat klinik tu tadi. alamak, tak turun pun or maybe sebab ritu pakai penimbang len & so ada ralat la kut kaannnn.. <--ayat diri="" div="" nbsp="" pujuk="" sendiri="">

padahal

orang dah bagi supplement mahai2 suh aku diet, aku bantai gak makan macam tak diet, dah tu nak mai mana weight loss? tapi kan, memang la minum herbalife shake tu tak rasa sangat lapaq tapiiiiiii

panjang tapi tu, tapi aku ni jenis suka makan. i actually miss the eating, the smell of the food, the sight of the food & the taste tu lebih kurang la sebab balik2 pun lauk tu jugak, beli kat kedai tuuuu jugak (ayat tak pueh ati Ahmad asyik beli lauk sama..puih) & anak2 plak jenis makan skit dah tinggai, abih, takkan aku nak buang kut setengah pinggan yang depa tak abih tu, membazir plak jadinya (eceh alasan hahah)

walaupun aku sakit ati aritu makcik yang selalu mai mintak makanan kat cni tu cakap direct kat aku, "hang ni gemuk noo" macam baru tetiba hari tu dia perasan aku gemuk, padahal tak pueh ati la tu aku takdak apa nak bagi kat dia. dah namanya aku ni bukan jenis tukang masak, yang hang dok mai nak mintak segala bala tu apakehei??? pehtu dok kutuk2 aku plak..cam #ial!!

memang...dari dulu lagi orang suka kata kat aku, aku gemuk

ada kala aku nangis

ada kala aku gelak ja

tapi aku pun manusia

apa salah aku kat hangpa yang hangpa asyik nak mengata aku?

ada aku dok pi mintak makanan hangpa ka?

ada aku dok pi mintak duit kat hangpa ka?

ada aku langgaq hangpa ka? ya la kan, dah aku ni gemuk...mana celuih nak jalan

tapi tu la, kekuatan untuk berdiet tu selalu fail. walaupun mak baba dah habih rm2500 (actually depa share 17 tin shake yang depa beli tu dengan aku, sebab aku baru mula, depa bagi 3 tin dulu perisa lain2 so aku leh try, yang baki tu depa simpan la kat depa) aku tetap tak boleh nak diet.

aku suka makan!

huahuahua

p/s: la ni aku wat derk ja kat makcik tu, dia nak terasa ka apa ka lantak la..maleh dah aku nak layan

Hooo my...

Lamanya tak update blog..isyisyisy

tetiba bulan ni dapat rezeki datang berhantar..
my parents join herbalife (for real!) & telah bermurah hati kongsi 3 botol shakes with moi yg
mmg dr dulu lg obese

ye, saya obese

so?


semalam baru mula tapi malangnya i don't have penimbang
tatau la starting weight brapa tp awai bulan hari tu ada la timbang kat klinik

~ 85kg (lebih kurang la sbb naik penimbang & turun cepat2 sbb konon2 malu ahahahaha)


so, yesterday morning, mula dgn teh 400ml + shake perisa cappuccino 400ml

sepatutnya minum air 4.5L (2L from 8 - 12pm & the remainder tu smpi mlm la..)
gilo la nak ngabihkan 4.5L tp sebab panas..togok ayaq laju gak la, alhamdulillah

lepas minum shake semlm tu rasa over-hyper lak..
terlebih tenaga smpi keluaq rumah & menyangkul rumput + hack off lalang

see? rajin apa aku ni...muahahahahah

malam sepatutnya tak boleh makan apa2 except for fruits kalau lapaq sgt (aku kan breastfeeding..konon makan utk anak la ni muahahah lagi)
tapi semlm sebab kehyperan ada lagi, rajin plak dok cuci fridge & tau tau ja dah berjaya finish off a few left-over dishes (saki baki anak2 mkn tak abis..nak buang sayang..so simpan dlm fridge konon nak perangat bg depa makan balik..tak dapek la...)

pagi ni dah minum shake, skg tgh minum teh

that's all  

It just pisses me off!!

Saw a status update on FB this morning that really pisses me off.

A baby girl was left on the ground naked, expect for a batik which was used to wrap her in. Cried buckets when I first saw that picture. I thought the baby was dead.

Later, found more news on the baby in my newsfeed & seems that she is alive and well, alhamdulillah. Don't know the whole story yet but I bet more people will comment on it soon.

How could you? You MONSTER!!!!! How could you just throw away something so pure, so fragile, so tiny? She looked so perfect, just laying there on her side. She looked 'chubby' for a newborn baby, she could easily weigh 3.0kg or more.

Well, at least she is in the custody of the JPM now. Someone will love her. I know I do.

Belum cuba belum tahu kaannnn?

Tadi check email sebab tengah tunggu email dari Adik - dia selalu macam tu, dah lewat malam baru nak sibuk-sibuk suruh tolong buat apa-apa..baru nak email, nak esok, abih aku ni? jenuh la bersengkang mata, nak reject tak sampai hati...adehhhh- pastu nampak ada email dari Nuffnang.

Ada offer untuk sponsored post berkaitan diapers, tapi for 45 parents only.

Tetiba ja macam excited coz sebelum ni rasa macam tak pernah dapat email offering sponsored post macam ni. Tengok orang buat sponsored post tu banyak la & selalu gak terdetik, "Hmmm, macamana depa ni dapat offer to blog about certain things eh?" So now I know lah..heheh

Dah lama tak blogging kan. Bukan sebab busy siapkan projects pun. Busy catching up with my current life; 3 boys & 2 of them go to school. Rasa almost 3/4 of my time dihabiskan settling depa punya uniforms; basuh, iron, sediakan untuk the next day, etc. and checking homeworks, sharpening pencils/colour pencils, check buku2 skolah..heh..banyak kerja lah...

Anyways, just wanna say HI! before I go MIA again. heh.

BYE!

Bila usia semakin meningkat...

rasa macam cepat sangat nak terasa hati, kadang-kadang rasa macam orang lain tu asyik nak perlekehkan diri ni ja..

cepat sangat nak menitiskan air mata, contoh, tengok cerita downton abbey pun boleh nangis tersedu-sedu dek babak sedih seorang mak lepaskan anak dia untuk dijaga oleh tok & tok wan dia..

asyik kelebet muka kat cermin, walaupun sedar diri tak cantik tapi bila jerawat mula menjajah kembali setelah sekian lama menyepi, terasa 'risau' jugak..

TAPI


dengan usia jugak...


sedar banyak kesilapan diri dan mula mencari perubahan ke arah yang lebih baik, insya ALLAH..

semakin menghargai semua ujian dan musibah yang menimpa sebagai tanda kasih ALLAH yang mahu mendidik diri ini ke arah sifat rendah diri..

sedar bahawa mati itu pasti..


*sesi muhasabah diri*

2 sad news in one morning.

First sad news:

I sent Nazrin to kindy this morning and stopped at my favorite nasi lemak stall on the way home. While waiting for my nasi lemak to get wrapped, the owner told me that there has been an accident a few kilometers down the road that involves 2 motorcyclists. Her husband has gone there to help. I heard the siren of an ambulance just before we went out of the house this morning, so it must have been on its way to the site. When her husband came back, he told us that one of the victims has just given birth 19, people, 19!! days ago. She's practically still in her confinement period. She should have stayed home with her baby but she was on her way to send her older child to a kindy nearby when she collided with a man who was on his way to work. What really bugged me was the fact that the onlookers who were there said that her husband was asleep at home when this happened. ASLEEP???!!! I mean, come on! She gave birth to your child! Couldn't you have woken up & help send your other child to kindy for a minute?? Is that so hard to do?

Poor mommy...she could still be hurting down there from a normal birth since I know from experience that if she had a C-section, she wouldn't be riding a motorcycle this morning. Only 19 days ago. Poor baby too. 

Second sad news:   

Ok, this is not entirely a real life situation but the reality of it is very real. Really.

If you have ASTRO Diva (Channel 702) subscription, then, you would've seen the snippet for the next episode of Downton Abbey. Spoiler alert!

When I saw Sybil's husband standing by the window, holding a baby in his hand, and the narrator saying something about 'a joy turned into sorrow' or something, I knew Sybil would be in some kind of trouble. This morning, my favorite blogger confirmed it. Read it here. Sybil died during childbirth due to preeclampsia.

She, Cecily the blogger, not Sybil the character, went through this same problem with her last pregnancy that almost took her life. But sadly, she lost her twin due to complications brought on by preeclampsia. It is horrifying to think that 76, 000 women died of it in a year, even with the advances in medicine we have today. I am thankful that my 3 deliveries went well, my boys are healthy & I am still alive. 

Makes you wonder why, after all the hardship women go through to ensure the survival of the human race, couldn't men be nicer to us? 

Trippin' down memory lane.

Don't have much to say, I got stuck on something & a month later, I still can't shake it off. *sigh*

Now I know how Mak felt when Monster said those horrible things to her. Back then, I thought Mak was being overly dramatic but now I know.

Anyway, school term has entered its 3rd week & we've finally gotten into the groove. Things go smoother in the morning but you can still expect Shahrin to make me 'see red' some days. Just goes with the territory, I guess. 

Work-wise, I do have some projects lined up but they are still tentative ones. The clients have yet to confirm whether they are going to hire me or not, so, I've been pretty relaxed this month (if you rule out going from doing 1 load of laundry to 2 loads per day due to the additional uniforms worn by both brothers & getting Shahrin ready 2 times a day; regular school in the morning & religious school in the evening).

Talking about uniforms, I got a bit nostalgic a few times already while dealing with Shahrin's school uniform. Plus, I even got crazy memory flashes while putting the 'kapur kasut' (literally translated as whitewash for shoes?) on Shahrin's shoes. While washing Shahrin's white shirts, I'd think back to my mother who would often tackle the boatload of dirty laundries during the weekends. Back then, we had a semi-automatic washer but she would always have some clothes that she washes by hand. She had a few huge basins; plastic ones and a metal one that she still has today. I do remember helping her rinse a few loads in those basins, with the water pouring out of the pipe and me holding & rinsing one item at a time. Then, we'd wring out the water in the spin part of the washer. I remember going out during the afternoon (after finishing each load) and hanging them on the lines outside the house I was born in.

I also remember Mak ironing MY school uniforms & the ones that struck me the most are during the 5 years I had to stay at a boarding school. I remember reluctantly washing my uniform that has been washed & ironed by Mak when I have to return to school after the once per month weekends at home. I didn't want it to lose the smell & the crisp ironed look from home, buhuhu. Hahaha..this feeling lasted the whole time (5 years!) I had to stay at that boarding school especially after long school holidays. Ironing Shahrin's uniforms just brought back those bitter sweet memories.

As for his school shoes, I don't really remember when I started washing my shoes myself but I do still remember Mak teaching me how to put on the 'whitewash' (not sure if this is the correct word) shoe white on my shoes. Back then, the whitewash shoe white bottles had separate wands with the sponges but the one I recently bought was cleverly designed as one piece with the sponge on top. 

Found this pic here. See how old school these are? Hahah
Now I know they are called 'shoe whites'.

The one I bought is similar to this one, clever, no? :D

       

I kind of love getting Shahrin's school items ready for him, although I do realize that I have to teach him and let him take the responsibility soon. It's this thought that made me think back to my primary school days when I was 12years and below heheh. What I do remember is waking up and trying to take a bath with my eyes close (the water was super cold though which would instantly wake me up heheh), putting on my uniforms alongside my sisters, eating our breakfast which is almost always nasi lemak. I remember cycling in front of my brother before he had to attend boarding school (he's 3 years older than I am) and riding on my Baba's motorcycle with my sisters. I wondered how Mak managed to manage all of us even when she's busy with her own work (she's a retired teacher as my Baba). I only have to manage 2 boys but I struggled during the first 2 weeks. What's with the washing (whites with whites, colors in a different load, thus increasing my daily laundry load from just 1 to 2 per day), the ironing (2 sets of uniform each day plus Nazrin's uniform which I have to wash everyday since he only has 1 pair) and off course, the part where I have to remind Shahrin every other minute to;

                  take a bath, Shahrin!, 

                  hurry up, Shahrin!, 

                  wear your uniform, Shahrin! 

                  put on your shoes, Shahrin!

                  

                  HURRY UP, SHAHRIN!!!!!! 

Alhamdulillah, Nazrin practically readies himself in the mornings which gives me sooooo much joy. :D

You've been played?

So what??!!

GET OVER IT!!!!

Why??? Just because you can??

Watched the viral video of the UUM gathering this morning.
After watching it, I felt less miserable, knowing that I'm not the only one with problems. Animals do too.

I applaud that student. She was brave, knowledgeable and eloquent. I don't have the guts to stand there & voice out my opinions like that. I am glad debate competitions during my time were not in the parliamentary style or I would never, NEVER have entered them. Didn't finish watching the video though coz the "LISTEN" lady lost me after her 'JAWS' joke and her nonsensical blabbering. 

This whole thing makes me realize that I am better off keeping my mouth shut if I am not willing to pick a fight with anybody. Which I am not. I'm a pacifist. I'd rather stay away from someone I don't like than try to make that someone see things my way. Or just laugh it off when I have been verbally attacked by someone. Which would make me a lousy contestants in most shows like The Survivor, Fear Factor, or other reality shows.

That said, I have to admit to myself that I am such a wuss, a pushover. I often let other people walk all over me because I'd rather smile and be friendly than say something sassy like, "Talk to the HAND, *#@$^!" 

Shahrin vs Nazrin

Oh man..

Today was better than last week, if I do say so myself. I managed to get Shahrin out of the door by 7.25am without physically hurting him or myself..hahahha..joking.

but, MAN! he was such a pain in you know where!

He hasn't change since we started sending him to kindy/preschool till now. Well, there are days when he would get up without a fuss but when he gets cranky, like this morning...ughh...I very nearly see red.

He would cry, he would just stand there in the toilet, not wash his face, not taking a bath, complaining that he's still sleepy..he's still tired...etc. etc. I practically had to shove his arms through his shirt just to get him into his uniform. I put his socks on, his shoes, he just stood there..crying..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nazrin on the other hand, was excited about going to school. He woke up early today, kept telling me that he can go to school (kindy) today since he couldn't go to school yesterday & on Saturday. He took his own bath (yeah..he manages himself well in the bathroom) and we were out of the house by 7.50am. We got to his kindy, he climbed off the motorcycle and walked in all by himself. He turned around only when I called out 'goodbye' to him.

That easy.

It's 2013 already?? The 1st week of school update.

Hi all!

And assalamua'laikum to all Muslim readers.

Man, the first week of school term was hectic with a capital H!

We had to rush around buying more school supplies as the week progressed as we figured out what it takes to send 2 kids to school. Well, technically, only Shahrin has to attend the public primary school since Nazrin is only 4 years old but Nazrin has been so excited about going to school (like his older brother), so we decided to send him to Shahrin's old private kindergarten/preschool.   

We thought that we were well prepared for the start of the new year & new chapter in Shahrin's life. But, even with only 3 school days left since Monday & Tuesday were still holidays, I felt like I needed more than a 24 hours day. I spent Tuesday night sewing Shahrin's school badge on his uniform till 4am! My sewing skills leaves much to be desired, heh. Then, on the 1st day of school itself, I woke up 10 minutes before Shahrin's 1st day of school is supposed to start!!!! 

Can you imagine how we scrambled around that morning? Plus, I forgot to iron his uniform the night before & had to make Shahrin wear his still-hot-freshly-ironed uniform. My poor son. Heh. Luckily, I had prepared his bag, shoes & lunchbox the night before, so, Ahmad later told me that the drop-off went well. A teacher was there to greet the newcomers, so the Standard 1 students were well looked after. Ahmad told me that the next 2 weeks will only be sort of an orientation period where the teachers will show these kids around the school, take them to the canteen & supervise them on how to purchase their meals, show them where the toilets are and etc. 

I couldn't go with them that 1st day because I had to get Nazrin ready for his 1st day at kindergarten. He was WAY better at getting ready for school compared to when I only had to deal with Shahrin. He did cry a little for having to wake up earlier than his usual time but after I told him that he should get ready to go to Abang Long's school, he became quite excited. Too excited, in fact, that the moment we got to his kindergarten & he was safely inside, he didn't even look back at me or wave me goodbye. Bwahahahahaha...      

Then, later that 1st day, Ahmad said we need to buy Shahrin more uniforms for his religious classes [KAFA or PAFA] (in the evening at another school) so we rushed out that evening to find white Baju Melayu and green songket. This part was rushed because we weren't aware that PAFA classes starts at the same time the public school starts & that registration was open since December the 24th, 2012. Luckily, Ahmad's friends who have kids already attending school told him about it. I'm not quite sure how this religious school works since Shahrin already has religious class during school hours but Ahmad said that it is sort of compulsory for kids to attend this school. So, Shahrin's schedule were packed on Thursday and Friday; 7.30am - 1.20pm at public school and 3.00pm - 6.00pm at the religious school. 

So, this week was very challenging for us, what's with getting things ready for the boys; iron school uniforms that are way to big for them, even the S sized ones, that I had to sew up the arms and pants to fit them, wrapping Shahrin's textbooks, buy more school items for them..etc. etc. Ahmad was in charge of sending & picking Shahrin up from the public school as well as sending & picking him up from religious school. As for me, I only have to send Nazrin to kindy but Ahmad would pick him up & bring him home. 

Ahmad is so into the whole 'going to school' thing which is so 180 degrees from how he acted when Shahrin only attended preschool/kindy. Back then, I was the only parent actively involved with Shahrin's school days; get him ready, send him to preschool, pick him up (although Ahmad did this more than I did but still..), prepare his uniform/bag/pencils/colour pencils..you know..school stuff. This year, he registered Shahrin for the public school and the religious school. He sent & picked Shahrin up from both schools and he asked Shahrin about his days. Plus, we initially bought each brother new school bags with Transformer pictures on them which the boys chose themselves. Then, after the 1st day was over, Ahmad told me that we needed to buy another bag for Shahrin, this time it has to have wheels because he said he couldn't stand seeing Shahrin dragging his 1st bag which was heavy with his textbooks & exercise books. This is quite the opposite to Shahrin only having 2 bags (one was a hands-me-down & the other was bought 2nd-hand) during his 3 years in kindy/preschool. Nazrin is the lucky one, he has a new bag, new pencil box (Shahrin never has one), new uniform. Hehe..

Apart from the hectic preparations, Ahmad is also busy making things. His welding business has taken over his time this past month and it looks like more orders are coming in, alhamdulillah. In fact, Shahrin's and Nazrin's new school items were bought using the money Ahmad received for making the parking-tent thing while I was waiting for my translation payment to come through. Which it has. As for me, I barely made it through the week trying to juggle between altering the boys' uniforms and proofreading for my loyal client but I managed to get my boys to school and finished my project, albeit 1 day later than the dateline, ahem. 

p/s: I LOVE!!!!! school term. Love it! Love, love, love it! hahahhahah..The past 3 days were heavenly, the TV got its well deserved rest, no one screaming or crying or demanding drinks. The house stayed neat the entire morning. Can't wait for the new week to start. Hahahahahahahah. <---crazy :p=":p" laugh.="laugh." nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

Who knew?

I am still feeling the aftermath of the month long translating project.
I already have 2 new projects but these past 2 days have been used to tidy up the house & catch up with laundry, especially the folding part of it. I have been browsing around bloggosphere and have found a few organizing ideas that I want to try. I have also been catching up on my sleep heheh that is to say, I catnapped when Khairin does during the day.

There is also 1 thing that's been bothering me & I can't shake it off. I thought I could but it kept coming back & crowding my thoughts. It has really caught me by surprise & I never thought that it could happen to me. It's like being sucker-punched except I don't know how that feels like. er..

Who knew?

It has taken away my excitement with Shahrin's coming off age. We should be preparing for next year when he has to attend public school. Wow..how time flies, he's 7yo already...my first-born will be going to school for real next year *tears*

But that thing is making me feel so low & down in the dumps. Ughhh...gotta shake it off!!!!

Money, money, money, money...MONEY!

Yes, today I'll be talking about MONEY. Can't live without them...

But before that, I just wanna say, "I have FINALLY submitted my month long translation project!!!!" YA!!!YA!!!!!

err...alhamdulillah...hehhe

I managed to stick to my plan of translating 5 pages per day and I made it! It was such a relief to be able to email the translated document to my client and inform her that I have finally finished. 

I email her the document around 3.40pm and I simply crashed. 

I managed to keep myself together for the past weeks; staying up late (the only time I can really focus on my translation job without having 3 sets of hands clinging onto me, 4 if you count Ahmad hahahha) and waking up early, completing my usual household chores and stealing a few minutes to translate. But today, I completely ignored ALL housechores, except for those scrawny kids off course..can't forget them! heheh..and I focused on finishing the final 3 pages + proofreading the whole thing, you know, for typos, grammar etc..

Afterwards, when the file is already emailed, I planned on picking up the slack & settle cleaning up the house BUT when Khairin wanted to nurse, I simply clocked-off beside him. I woke up only because my mom called at 6.34pm. Right now, the sink is full with dirty dishes and I have 3 piles of dirty laundry to go through but I am cool with that because I AM FREE!!!!! hahahha

Ok, back to the topic at hand. *Ahem

I am really lucky to have been raised as a middle-class child who never sat foot in a KFC till she was already 15 years old, even then it was because her friends (from her boarding school) dared her to, hahah. A child who was never allowed frivolous foods such as candy, carbonated drinks, crackers and chocolate bars while she was growing up and now she would still feel a little self-conscious and guilty if she does buy any of these foods because she is still scared of her Baba, hahaha. 

I am fine with my present life these days, when other 'people' do not intrude on the somewhat 'tranquil' balance Ahmad & I have right now. We may not have a lot but we have been living on what we have and for us, these are enough. Yes, I do want a better life for my family but as Friar Tuck say, "The LORD works in mysterious ways" (you know, in Robin Hood, the one Kevin Costner was in..) and so far, I think HE has given us just what we need, when we need it. Alhamdulillah, we have never been so dirt-poor that we don't have anything to eat, we may only have enough to eat fried eggs but then again, Ahmad is not a picky eater, hehh. We do enjoy eating out at KFC, Pizza Hut, McDonalds every now and then but we are fine without. 

Even when we both are unable to bring in any money; I don't have any projects & Ahmad's bundle business slows down because of the weather, we are so lucky to have family members + my parents who give us loans except for my parents off course, they never ask for their money back. I am thankful for my safety nets who are always there for me.

For the past weeks, while I struggle with my translation job, Ahmad took up the slack, alhamdulillah. Since I haven't been able to accept any other translation/proofreading/writing projects because of this big project, I couldn't provide my family with anything. But as I said before, ALLAH provided us with more work for Ahmad instead. He has began to get a lot more welding projects, which ironically started when I got this big project. This month alone, Ahmad completed 4 projects; awnings, 2 door grills and a parking-area-tent and he has 3 more projects lined up. 

So, technically, we have never been poor because ALLAH still provides us with just what we need. Sure, we may never set foot in Legoland, Nusajaya, Johor or see what the hoolaabaloo is at i-City, Shah Alam, but as long as my kids have food to eat, clothes to wear and all-day-cartoons to watch, I am thankful.

P/s: This is not my 'one word' end of the year post. Will do that soon, though.  

BM entry: air tangan Ibu?

Dah 2 3 hari memasak. Tetiba macam rajin walaupun hakikatnya aku banyak keja.. 81 mukasurat nak kena translate masuk English..target at least 5 pages per day tapi tau saja la kan..dengan anak2 ni, nak dapat 3 pages per day pun susah :(

Dah la tadi dapat call dr client, Big Boss dia review ada 1 file yg aku dah siap translate & email kat dia. Benda ni nak kena translate ikut lingo perundangan..cek mana ada background law, so ada la dia tegur word choices yang tak on par dgn lingo law. So now, aku punya momentum dah down sbb asyik doubt myself. Buat sikit then rasa mcm salah plak..baca balik ayat2 yg dah translate, click kanan tgk synonyms..then baca blk ayat..dok ulang2 benda yg sama..buang masa ja huhu..rasa cam nak ngadu kat sapa2 tp tatau sapa yg boleh di call :'( takkan aku nak ngadu benda ni kat mak baba plak..depa nak tolong pun tak bleh, lgpun aku keja kat rumah, takdak makna depa nak mai cni tolong jaga cucu while aku siapkan keja aku nih... *sigh*

Harap2 malam ni dapat balik momentum, due 20hb. & plan nak siapkan by 19th, insya Allah.

Eh, nak cerita pasai air tangan kan? hahah..terbabas plak. Ok, dah tak ble fokus kat keja, meh la nak cerita skit. Aku ni kan minimalist, dlm fridge paling kurang ada kicap & sos cili ja, condiments lain takdak. 2 3 hari ni masak cara minimalist la, goreng2 ikan bilis, ikan masin, sayur kicap, buat penkek utk anak2.

Dah tu, nak mai mana ayaq tangan nya? Cuba pikiaq, macam tadi, Ahmad suh masak ja, so dia pi kedai beli 1 tin sardin. Aku panaskan minyak then terus tuang sos tomato dlm tin tu, tuang plak 1 tin air dalam tu sbb nak kuah, pastu amik sos cili, tuang sikit bagi ada rasa pedas, then amik sejemput gula & sikit garam. Masa masak tu, sikit pun tangan aku tak kena sardin. So, nak mai mana air tangan? Kacau sardin tu pakai senduk, nak rasa pakai sudu..see what I mean?

Masa nak buat penkek pun, tuang bahan2 dalam cawan penyukat, blender sampai sebati, panaskan pan & tuang minyak skit, pastu tuang adunan penkek tu straight dr dalam blender (dasar pemalas kaaannn heh), balik2 penken dengan sudip..so, bila yang tangan aku nak kena penken tu?

ISh..tak jadi keja sungguh tetiba dok pikiaq pasal air tangan nih..hahahhahahahahaha

Want vs. Need

-edited-

What I want:

1- A new purse
2- New gold bracelets
3- A new electric water heater
4- A new oven/microwave oven
5- A mixer (since I'm into baking these days heh)

What we need:

1- Bed sheets (the 3 sets I have are already threadbare, bought 6 years ago, heh)
2- Towels (same reason as above)
3- Shahrin's school uniform, beg, stationery, shoes, etc.
4- New bicycles for the big boys (a promise that needs to be kept)
5- New clothes for the boys
6- A new car battery

This list might grow in the next few days but for now, this is already a lot of stuff. I might get new bracelets or a necklace as a gift to myself.     

Facebook...oh, Facebook...

I've had my share of putting up 'controversial' status on Facebook and received mixed response to them.

These days, I'm still addicted to it (who doesn't, right? heh) but I have managed to keep my status bland and non-controversial. But usually, I just log in to see who's doing what, that's all. It's kind of anti-climatic when you have something you wish to share on Facebook but have to think 1000X before posting it.

In the end, Facebook is just another webpage I open to keep myself updated with my friends. Heh.

Ramblings of a mom/wife/who-am-i

It's kinda weird not having to type anything at all.

I've completed ALL the assignment/essay/forum/proofreading projects that came my way since October. Things were hectic for almost 2 month straight but the pay was most welcome. But, the past 2 days have been a bit, well, boring. Heh. Never thought I'd say that but after spending almost everyday in front of the computer, thinking of what to write or how to edit a sentence to make it better, you get a bit disoriented when you are in the same setting but no longer need to do the same task.

Funny thing though, while I was busy completing the projects, at the back of my mind was a constant multitude of chore list that I keep putting off till I have completed everything. Everyday, for the past 3 weeks, I'd open my fridge and think, "I'll clean this when I'm free" or whenever we have to dive into the mountain of clean laundry still waiting to be folded, I'd think, "This shouldn't take to long to finish, 1 day would be enough". Unfortunately, till today, I have done nothing. NADA..

Heheh.

But actually, I started this entry because I have things to get off my chest. I'm just gonna write them in point form coz I'm feeling lazy. 

1- I have something to say to doctors and nurses. Children get sick all the time. When they do, don't just blame the MOTHER! She certainly doesn't want her child to get sick or wait 3 days to see a doctor. What is it with you people? Why do you have to put the blame solely on ME?? Because it's easier? since I'm the only one talking to you even though my husband is in there as well? Do you really think I'd purposely let my kids suffer before seeing you if I could have done it sooner??? This BS has happen to me so many times. It's so UNFAIR! If it was up to me, I'd have taken my kids in the moment I know they are not well BUT I can't. Okey..I need help to handle the boys. Husband has to come along; to drive us, to help manage the boys but he's busy too. Just because I'm a house wife doesn't mean I have time to waste at your stupid clinic just because my kids have runny noses. Ughh...these people act as if Ahmad was not there or not in the picture and just heap the blame on me. BS!! Why didn't you ask him why he didn't take his kids in to see the doctor sooner?

2- I am getting sick of this one old neighbour of us. She has been coming around asking for this and that ever since I've known her. At first I thought, well, she's old and weak, what the heck, right? So, I just give her anything she asks and get this, she has a system for asking for things. She'd casually walk past our window (usually in the morning), take a peek in on the items on our table and would ask questions about them. There was one time when the table was full of food from the night before (my parents came and they brought home-cooked food, YAY! for my mom) and I'd just finished reheating them for an early lunch. She walked past (there's a spot for burning trash at the back of this house and she would throw her trash there every.single.day.even.if.it's.just.one.small.plastic.bag) and as usual, took a peak, saw the food on the table and immediately started asking me about the dishes. Well, since I'm such a polite neighbor, I couldn't just let her stand outside my window while we talked, so I invited her in. In the end, she went home with 3 containers full of the food she sampled while she was here. The same happened this evening. I was frying some chicken nuggets for the boys when she ambled past. She peaked, saw the nuggets and as usual, started asking about them (as if she's never seen one before) and as usual, she said could she have some for her dinner. So? What to do? I had to pack some for her and her husband. I don't mind giving her food every now and then since she's old and frail and I thought her annoying habit was age related BUT people around here has been telling me that she's been that way since forever. She's been perfecting her M.O. since her 20's, who knows? But what to do, right? We're Malays and we are friendly, polite people, so I can't say NO to her when she comes by next time. 

3- This one is positive, promise. I was nursing Khairin the other day, it was noon and the older boys were making noises about being thirsty. I jokingly said, "No, today is my day off!" and you know what Shahrin said? He said, "You can't have a day off, you're a mother!" to which we both laughed. I swear this is not just something I write ok, Shahrin actually said it like that. Hahahah...*ahem* 

p/s: sometimes, I feel proud of how he quickly picks up the correct way of saying things in English but there are times when I feel like I've let him watch to many cartoons. heh heh heh...      

Hey there..

wow..almost a month had gone by...just like that, eh?

didn't realized i've neglected this blog for that long..but still..i had things to do, noses to wipe and tears to dry...

things are still pretty crazy these days; after nazrin's week long fever, he's still got the runny nose & he finished up 2 boxes of my 200 pull tissues in just 3 weeks! shahrin came down with fever on and off, e.g. he'd  be feverish for 2 days then gets better for about 4 days then gets feverish again..not sure if i should worry but he did vomit prior to showing fever symptoms. khairin's been like this as well, as do myself but he didn't vomit like shahrin. i was sick twice but each lasted only a day...no time for ibu to be sick...my babies need me more.. *adeh*

i've also been busy with my projects..alhamdulillah..although lately, it seems that i have assumed the role of breadwinner for this family..well, ahmad seems to be getting his mojo back so hopefully he'll re-assume this role soon..i'm tired of having to do everything around here..luckily, ahmad has taken over some of my daily chores like doing the dishes, getting the boys ready (the 2 older ones but they can manage bathing by themselves but putting on clothes is another matter as i haven't been able to do much folding & the pile is growing!) as well as hanging the laundry to dry. i mentioned to him how grateful i am when he helps me with chores & i pointed out a snippet from DIVA UNIVERSAL's "The Break Up" featuring Jeniffer Aniston and Vince Vaughn - J.A: I want you to want to do the dishes!
                         V.V: Why would I want to do the dishes?

see? and here i thought i'm the only one getting depressed over doing dishes, heheh..but lately, i do think he has changed, has gotten a bit understanding about the stuff i have to do just to keep this family functional.. plus i do have a job that pays the bills, groceries and other stuff. i'm still waiting for him to be more open about his past though..7 years of marriage is not long enough for us to truly know each other..heck, we could spend the rest of our lives together & still wouldn't know everything about each other, right?

well, got to get back to work..

p/s: i once heard someone said that she needed a wife & now, i understand what she meant, heh

ARGHHHH!!!

Okay...breath in.......................breath out........................................

Things have got to get better soon because I'm very close to pulling my hair (what little that's left of it) or throw something at someone.

Starting with Nazrin last Tuesday, then followed by Khairin and finally Shahrin just 2 days ago.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

FEVER!!!

RUNNY NOSE!!!

COUGHING!!!

PUKING!!! (okay, this one involved Shahrin alone, that one time but still......)


Nazrin is super cranky these days & just not his normal bubbly-self.
I go between feeling sorry for my sons & wanting to take their ouches away to feeling could-someBODY-come-get-these-boys-before-I-bodily-harm-myself!!!????

huh

huh

huh


Case in point: I had to do a No.2 around 9pm just now. I walked by Khairin on the way to the toilet and he was just fine, playing with something. Just as I sat down to do my business, he started wailing. Like ultrawailing..I want Ibu nooowwwww!!! kind of wail. I carried on with my business since Ahmad was around & I fully expected him to get control over things. Unfortunately, Khairin wailed and wailed and wailed till he was coughing out of breath. I couldn't take it any more so

.

.

.

.

.

.

I HAD AHMAD PUT KHAIRIN IN HIS WALKER & PUT THE WALKER + KHAIRIN 

IN THE TOILET* WITH ME!

The things I do for my boys.
So we had a fun time in the toilet for a while hahahahhahaha lalalalalalalla

* the toilet + bathroom is huge, so that's why I didn't mind having Khairin & his walker in there. Don't worry, I was appropriately covered where it mattered :p

Being a WAHM is really stressful...

I was finally able to submit an article due 2 days ago, TODAY!, after the client repeatedly called me asking about my progress. *sigh*

I didn't mean to take this much time but it is utter chaos right now (well, technically, right now all 3 boys are sleeping! can you believe that??!) with the dirty dishes in the sink, laundry all piled up high, floors not swept... errmmm...somehow I'm getting a dejavu while writing this. It is so reminisce the months when I was pregnant with Khairin..ahakss..

Unfortunately, the only thing that's coming out of anybody is snot, snot more snot and throw in some barf too. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our household is currently under attach! At first, it was just Nazrin coming down with fever which started 3 days ago. Then, Khairin got it too, so I've been keeping up with fever medications and keeping the boys cooled whenever their temperature got too high. I was practically (still am today..my arms are cramping!!!) 'wearing' Khairin all through the day. Man! he was clingy and with the runny nose, he couldn't take naps like he normally does, thus he gets even clingy-er. Nazrin cried over every coughs and whenever his nose started running and when I asked him to take a bath because I needed to try & get his temp down. Owh...that one can sure turn on the waterworks..and he keeps asking for cough syrup BUT wouldn't eat it when I wanted to give it to him. I mean, COME ON!!! He complaints (and cries) every time he coughs then asks for the cough syrup but when I place the spoon near his lips, fully expecting him to open them, he cries so hard till he coughs and coughs and coughs and throw up.

Yeah...that's the story of my life right now.

I couldn't find the time to sit down and work on the article all day yesterday. The client has been very understanding till she couldn't stand it anymore. Hahah. But all in all, she was still very kind for making the payment even when I fully expected her to bail. Fortunately for me, so far, I've never had a client bail out on me without paying for my services. Although I know I should change the way I conduct my services which is ask for payment first before submitting the article/paper/thesis that I've written/proofread/edit. But when clients give me just a few days of completing the task before they have to submit it themselves, how can I ask for money first?

Alhamdulillah, this month alone, I made almost the highest I've gotten so far. I did have to juggle quite a number of clients almost one on top of the other but I managed. The only problem I face constantly these days is juggling between work and household responsibilities. And my boys.

Like last week, I practically had to 'import' Ahmad's step-sister to come over and look after the boys while I focus on finishing 2 articles that needed proofreading. This week I couldn't go get her since we crashed my sister's car and she's still using ours so we're car-less right now. I think I need to set-up some kind of schedule to separate my work and my household responsibilities. I normally just spend whatever minute I can grab between finishing my chores and looking after the boys to complete my projects but after the last 3 days, I think I need to be firm about my timetable. At least, if I can come up with some workable time allotments for my projects, I can request or instruct my future clients that I have a certain time-limits for completing certain projects. Then, I can estimate how long I would need for each project.

Well, I think I'd KIV this for the next time I am in trouble. For now, I need to finish writing a report for a long-term client of mine who happens to be my neighbor's niece. heh.

Sleep tight boys, Ibu's gotta work!    

p/s: I bought something totally out of character 3 weeks ago after I was paid for an article. I bought myself a handsome black chair! Soooo professional looking, let me tell you! Now I can pretend that I'm in an air-conditioned office while I work. heheh...next time I just might buy myself a nice looking office table to fit this chair. hahahahha

Looks identical enough to my chair. Isn't she pretty? Heh. I love the latticed back.