The silver lining..more simple recipes.

After my Ahmad decided to quit his job (again!), I was faced with the dilemma of cooking for my family. Don't get me wrong, I like cooking but I'm not a very good cook, plus I don't know that much recipes. However, when faced with the responsibility of feeding 4 hungry tummies, my especially heh, on a tight budget, I do believe I got by quite well.

Just this week alone I tried two more of my mom's recipes. 1stly because I miss my parents so much (wei Ateh! Let go of them!! I need them here!!!!) and 2ndly because these recipes were very simple to do.

The first one is the simple fried dumpling.

Please excuse the uneven-shaped dumplings.
They were supposed to be roundish and puffed up but this was the best that I got.

The ingredients:
Flour
Sugar
Water

That's it!

Very simple, isn't it? All you need to do is mixed these ingredients together till they are the consistency of a slightly runny dough. I do recommend putting in the sugar a little at a time, giving the dough a taste before frying it. It should taste just a bit sweeter than plain dough.

I used a spoon to scoop up a bit and plopping it into hot oil. I should have used my hand to scoop it, then it would have been rounder. Another advice, pour in a lot of oil into the frying pan, make sure it is very hot before frying the dumpling. Scoop in just 2 or 3 at a time because they will poof up. When they've turned golden brown, remove them from the oil.

This sardine with chili complimented (hah! 'compliment' my *ss, this was the only dish available to be eaten with the dumplings, my mom usually serves the dumplings with curry :p) the sweet dumplings quite nicely. Yummy!!

The second one is Bengkang Roti.
(erm..sorry, don't actually know the word for bengkang in English)

This is the finished product. I know it looks unappetizing but it was quite nice,
if I do say so myself. It should have looked like an upside-down cake, of sorts, but due to technical problems (eh? say what?) the result was quite disappointingly charred.

It started this way:

Soak a few slices of day-old stale bread in coconut milk.
You can also use fresh bread and plain milk.
I used 6 slices of a day-after-the-expired-date Gardenia bread.
Heh, no point in throwing away the bread, they still looked good to me.
That was the whole point I used this recipe my mom made up, because she didn't want
to throw out stale bread and neither did I.
Add a pinch of salt, a few spoonful of sugar and add flour, just enough to make it thicker.
Plop the whole thing into a pan/pot and put it on the burner on low heat.
Keep an eye on it because it did not take long to cook.
When you see that the top part has turned brownish, that means the bengkang is ready. Or when you poke a fork in the middle and it came out clean, that could also means that it's cooked.
Mine was a bit charred, not sure whether it was the pot's fault or mine. Heh.

Well, that's all for tonight folks.
Will update more simple recipes when I have the time. Heh.

Wish Nigella lives next door! She cooks so simply yet yummy looking dishes.

Dear All,

Been getting quite a lot of attention these days, thanks to the free iPad contest.

I don't feel the urge to do any more entries for this contest, partly because I realized that my previous entries were not very creative at all. Another part is because I think the organizer is dragging the contest for too long.
It's okay, really.
Though getting a FREE iPad would be the most absolutely wonderful thing,
the feeling has faded a bit due to lots of things.

Anyway, for this post, I would like to thank Yatie Chomeyl and Ibn Mustakim for their recent comments, about my blog and my contest entry.
Thank you both for coming here and saying nice things about me and my writing.
Your comments really means a lot to me.
They validated my self-worth and the way I see myself, through this blog.

I know I can learn from both your blogs too.
Yatie, I love the thoughts and the information you carefully placed in your entries. They make for a wonderful learning experience, especially the ones regarding Japanese nurseries. I have a 5 years old & been sending him to a pre-school nearby since he was 4. I would've loved to home-school him but taking into account my own (in-capabilities?), I think it would be wiser to place him in better hands. By the way, I strongly agree with you on the banning of inappropriate pictures on Muslimah's blogs. Thank you reminding me too.

Ibn Mustakim, you were right about that entry. Though in my defense, that was my very first entry, so, yes, it was kind of rushed and done without much thought. However, I like to think that my 3 other entries have improved, somewhat. I know, going back to the organizer's blog & reading through all the other entries, I felt really bummed since mine are not even up to par.
Thank you anyway for giving your comments. I really appreciate it.

As for now, I need to get down to business. I have 2 more journals to proofread, by tomorrow.
Haha..procrastinating queen here!

Dear Mama,

"Sayang Mak, buat apa, kacau ka?"

Every time I answer the phone, this is how her greetings go.
She is always concerned about whether or not she's disturbing me with her calls.
No, Ma, you can call me anytime at all, I don't mind. In fact, I always look forward to giving you a call and tell you how lovely my life is.

*bawling like a baby*
.
.
.
.
*wiping off snot*

Hey Ma, do you remember our little chat in Ateh's room about 9 years ago?

I do.

You were right, every thing you said that night came true. Well, except for the part where I am supposed to be someone successful, attending a formal dinner at a fancy 5-star hotel.

And still, I couldn't deny my heart no matter how hard my head tells me not to.
Stupid heart.
Bleeding heart.

But still, if I knew then what I know now, would I have done things differently?
Maybe I would be more forceful about having our own place before getting married.
Maybe I would have pursue a career before having a baby.
Maybe.

Still, I pray for strength to deal with things I cannot change and wisdom to change what I can.

Ma, I love you!

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your comment and your prayer, it means a lot to me.

I try to be as honest to myself as possible, while at the same time *trying* to get across what I actually mean without revealing to much.

Blaghh..

Who am I kidding? I write whatever I feel like writing, right? This blog was created because:

1) I wanted to have someplace to unload/think things through/for safekeeping my life's experience. Who knows? Maybe some day soon, my boys could come here
to know more about me, their mother.
2) I need financial independence. I'm sure by now, you've read enough of this blog to know why. And a dear friend of mine had suggested that I could blog and earn at the same time.
Thus the Nuffnang ads and the previous ManggaAd that I've cancelled because I'm impatient.
I thought that I'd start getting checks as quickly as I can write entries but I'm slowly learning the truth about blogging for money.
3) I can reach out to like-minded people. I love reading about other people's stories, especially when they write from the heart. That way, I don't feel so alone and I hope to learn from them.

Can I suggest something for you?
The first blog I read was Cecily's who wrote about her loss. She was featured in Reader's Digest in an article about infertility. Though I am not infertile, I'm sure you know that, right? heh, somehow, her posts about dealing with the death of her unborn twin sons had me going back for more. She wrote so beautifully and truthfully that I feel her sadness through the words.

Recently, I found another blog, equally enthralling, due to the blogger's openness about her own short-comings. Ellie's blog is another good read, especially for someone who is battling inner demons (Me! Me!). I love how she always makes her post conversational-like; her monologues, her hats with her children. The way she makes you feel like you're not so bad after all. I always look forward to reading more from her.

Go check them out whenever you're free.

As for the breaking-the-traditional-Malay-wife-behavior thing, I don't think that's quite true. Heh. Yes, I am aware that Islam calls for wives to guard her husband's treasure (keep the family and what ever earthly belongings they have, safe) and secrets (meaning not blabber about their husbands' short-comings to anyone, especially not on the Net, heh).

But.

I think (in self-defense) that all wives do that, not out of disrespect to their husband but as a means to better themselves as wives. When we gossip, we often get tidbits from each other, on how to handle arguments or cranky husbands or even how to win the everlasting battle of who's parents' turn is it to go back to this Hari Raya? Heh.

I love my husband so much, it hurts, literally.
But I still have the urge to knock his stubborn head off, once in a while. So, if I can let that fantasy go by telling others about my current beef with him, I will.

So, dear Anonymous, do come back again for more real life stories! :D

When the element of control is lost..

Everything falls apart at the seams.

And it's not an easy task to pick up the pieces.
To have everything back to their relative normalcy.

*sigh*

I woke up feeling quite energetic this morning.
This morning...seems like ages ago.

The energy has since left me & I'm currently feeling deflated.
Maybe I need a couple of that Energizer batteries to keep me going.

This was my morning To Do list:
1- Hang laundry to dry.
2- Make breakfast. (I tried my mom's bread-cake-thingy recipe, didn't turn out like I expected)
3- Sweep the floor.
4- Fold the clean clothes-mountain.
5- Wipe dusty counters. (Initially from last week's To Do list)
6- Make lunch.

As of this minute, I've only managed to complete #1, #2 and #3 and I'm poofed.

Looks like I might need a couple more Panadol.

Any volunteers?

Ibu's sick...

Sick..mind, body and soul.

These past few days had been horrible; Shahrin puking everywhere,
Nazrin wanting to be hold ALL the time!

The house is a complete wreck.

I could only do the laundry, even then it's because my father had given us a washing machine, without it, dirty clothes would've piled high up to the sky. *sigh* like the unfolded ones...

This past week, when I finally have the time alone, the boys sleeping and Ahmad off doing what he does every night (don't ask, I don't know..), I tried to write something.
But my tired brain couldn't come up with anything..
That first sentence up there? I wrote that 3 nights ago!
Fortunately tonight, I feel a bit better and think that I really should just force myself to write something, regardless of the cohesiveness or even the content.
Kind of like 'free writing', see what comes up, you know?

Well, last time I checked with the iPad organizer, she had listed several entries.
When I read through each one, I immediately felt defeated.
There is no way I'm going to be passed to the 2nd part of the audition.
I, myself find my entries as not creative and uninteresting, as oppose to the other entries listed by the organizer. Sorry, too tired to even attempt going over there and link them up here.

Reading all the other blogs suggested by the participants,
I realized that I need to work more on my niche.
So far, all I did, have been to write according to what had happened that day or if something interesting got stuck in my mind and I just have to write about it.
I don't really offer any useful information, or post interesting stuff,
or even write a good post.

In order for me to draw more readers to this blog, I need to upgrade my entries.
I said before that my life's stories is my 'niche', so, instead of just writing about my family being sick, maybe I should write instead about *how* I got through the puke and the high fever and the never-ending crying. Maybe I should focus more on how I made use of the tips I got from my mother on how to bring down a fever. Or what to do or not do when Nazrin's head is burning hot, yet his feet are cold as ice. (When this happens, DO NOT put water (jelum) on his forehead, try to keep him comfortable and wait till his feet are warmish
before putting a damp cloth to cool him down)

I need to do more research on how to upgrade my blog.

Hmm..any suggestions?

Before I forget..

All three male family members have fallen sick with fever since 2 days ago.
Me? I'm barely hanging on...

I need to write these down before I forget but they are going to be here for a while. The house is a mess right now and I need to tackle it first.

Ok, here goes:

1- After watching Oprah, I realized that a) I have a body-issue and b) a food-issue.
2- I need structure in my life if I want my old self back. I practically grew up in a boarding school where everything has been laid out for me; what time to wake up, when to eat, when to study and even when to sleep. I need that kind of routine back.
3- I am stuck in my comfort zone, I need to shake things up!

Till later!