Two days ago my lecturer called and asked me if I want to be her RA. She said her office has arranged a project with a nearby Methodist school and they need somebody to take care of the collected data.
So, today, I called her boss and discussed the matter at hand more thoroughly.
After talking to her (the boss), I have decided to take this job & forget about the walk-in interview in USM Main Campus.
I am super excited about this job because:
1- I get to do my work at home!!!! How convenient is that? Now I don't have to worry about the boys at all. What a relief! They will just email me the data to be processed and uploaded. Thank GOD I have a lappy & broadband at home.
2- This project will be till August, so I will have at least 4.5 month worth of work to keep me busy. I kind of felt lost after my class ended because going to class gave me an excuse to be someone other than just a SAHM. Now I can honestly say that I am a WAHM, hehe.
3- Although the pay is minimal, RM25/day, I am thankful for it. It is going to be my stepping stone to better job offers. I am going to be the best RA they ever hired, so that they will hire me again for future projects. :D
After all, I wouldn't have any extra expenses like petrol or lunch-money because I am not going anywhere, haha. The beauty of working at home. Thank you for technology.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Happy? Sad?
Remember this dog?
Well, she died today.
At around 1.30pm (I guess).
While I was out shopping.
She chose to die in front of our porch,
the place where she had always waited for me to come back.
I left the house with my boys in tow, heading for town.
She wasn't there then.
We got back, not even 45 minutes later,
to be greeted by her lifeless body,
right at the spot where she always were,
whenever she waited for us to come home.
Granted, her presence was a nuisance;
she would steal our shoes in a heart beat,
drag garbage into our front yard,
bark and howl all night,
I hate her for making me wash our stuff
again and again in dirt water to cleanse them,
but,
her death rattled me.
She died while in labor (again, I am just guessing),
I noticed her pregnant belly while helping Ahmad push her onto a plastic wrap.
Blood came gushing out from her genitalia when we tried to move her body.
From what I saw, I think her puppy got stuck and she couldn't push it through.
She must have been waiting for me to come home so that I could help her.
*tears*
Never in a million years would I thought that her death could affect me so.
Because *I* could be her. With the exception that in labor, I could have all the help and medical assistance at my side.
She died alone.
Well, she died today.
At around 1.30pm (I guess).
While I was out shopping.
She chose to die in front of our porch,
the place where she had always waited for me to come back.
I left the house with my boys in tow, heading for town.
She wasn't there then.
We got back, not even 45 minutes later,
to be greeted by her lifeless body,
right at the spot where she always were,
whenever she waited for us to come home.
Granted, her presence was a nuisance;
she would steal our shoes in a heart beat,
drag garbage into our front yard,
bark and howl all night,
I hate her for making me wash our stuff
again and again in dirt water to cleanse them,
but,
her death rattled me.
She died while in labor (again, I am just guessing),
I noticed her pregnant belly while helping Ahmad push her onto a plastic wrap.
Blood came gushing out from her genitalia when we tried to move her body.
From what I saw, I think her puppy got stuck and she couldn't push it through.
She must have been waiting for me to come home so that I could help her.
*tears*
Never in a million years would I thought that her death could affect me so.
Because *I* could be her. With the exception that in labor, I could have all the help and medical assistance at my side.
She died alone.
Life's purpose?
-Que Sera, Sera by Doris Day-
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
I think, growing up, all I ever know is that I am supposed to be someone special and important.
Nothing is more important than education and school came first.
Not only that, I was also active in school competitions, from primary till high school.
Even while doing my matriculation, I kept being active and got involved in quite a lot of
extra curricular activities.
My mom made it clear that both she and my father would do their best in providing us with everything we need, all they want in return is for us to study hard and get good results.
I think I spent 80% of my growing up years, my youth and a part of my late-teens at school/university.
School holidays were for joining school camping trips or motivational camps or attending competitions or extra classes for the 2 big exams; PMR (lower secondary exam) and SPM (higher secondary exam).
Even during my undergraduate years, during short public holidays, my mom told me to stay back or return early to the dormitory so that I could study better as opposed to staying at home.
I missed quite a lot of family time because of this.
The point is, I am starting to realize that all these years, my priorities had been my parents' priorities.
They set the goals and aims.
I was just following orders.
Now that I am married and no longer under their wings, I am LOST.
Because I have no focus nor purpose in life.
Somehow, I don't know whether to feel depress or feel elated for finally acknowledging this fact.
All this while, I have only focused on what my parents want from me.
These days, my only focus is for the boys and Ahmad.
My purpose in this family is to care for them and provide them with the love and support that they need.
BUT.
What about me?
What purpose do I have for me?
Take away the boys and Ahmad & I'll be left with nothing.
I envy people who know what they want and strive to achieve it.
I wish to be the person my mom painted me to be.
It'll be ok, everything will be fine.
I know I will be fine.
Because I have my whole lifetime to find out.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Picture Day!
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| Thomas The Train |
 |
| The tower, don't ask, I don't know what this tower is for heh |
 |
| Bits and pieces of Shahrin's collection |
 |
| The yellow one is a jetplane (obviously! :D) but I'm not sure about the red. |
Shahrin is quite creative when it comes to building things with his blocks. He's just like his Paksu (my youngest brother) who had a basket full of Lego blocks that he played with ALL day, making everything from a soldier to a dinosaur. Enjoy! :D
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Update on the RA thing.
I have just called the person in charge of recruiting RAs for the project.
She informed me that they are going to set up a Call Center for contacting correspondence involved in this project. The RAs are going to be calling the correspondence and get their feedback on the survey. Kind of like being a telemarketer but in a nicer way, heh.
There would be 3 shifts, from 10am to 10pm and from what I've gathered, if someone gets the 10am shift, that person will be off-duty by 6pm. The coordinator told me that each RA would have to work an 8 hours shift with 1 hour for rest. Pretty much a 9 to 5 job but in shifts.
I'm kind of worried though. IF I get the job and in the 3 month working period I get the night shift, I'd have to drive home alone from Penang back to Bagan Serai! That's a long way to drive alone, at night (10pm from Penang and at least 1.5 hours to reach Bagan Serai) and I don't do well in the dark. *shudder*
I did ask the coordinator if they would consider special request; cutting some slack for mothers with children, hoping that if I do get it, then I wouldn't have to worry about working the night shift. She said that they have to wait and see how everything goes after the interview on the 16th.
Well, for now, I think I'm going to try for it and be there for the interview.
After all, I have got nothing to lose and so much to gain.
She informed me that they are going to set up a Call Center for contacting correspondence involved in this project. The RAs are going to be calling the correspondence and get their feedback on the survey. Kind of like being a telemarketer but in a nicer way, heh.
There would be 3 shifts, from 10am to 10pm and from what I've gathered, if someone gets the 10am shift, that person will be off-duty by 6pm. The coordinator told me that each RA would have to work an 8 hours shift with 1 hour for rest. Pretty much a 9 to 5 job but in shifts.
I'm kind of worried though. IF I get the job and in the 3 month working period I get the night shift, I'd have to drive home alone from Penang back to Bagan Serai! That's a long way to drive alone, at night (10pm from Penang and at least 1.5 hours to reach Bagan Serai) and I don't do well in the dark. *shudder*
I did ask the coordinator if they would consider special request; cutting some slack for mothers with children, hoping that if I do get it, then I wouldn't have to worry about working the night shift. She said that they have to wait and see how everything goes after the interview on the 16th.
Well, for now, I think I'm going to try for it and be there for the interview.
After all, I have got nothing to lose and so much to gain.
To go or Not to go?
That IS the big QUESTION.
My business writing lecturer has taken quite an interest in my quest to find a job or more specifically my LACK of job. She has taken it upon herself to help me secure a job, at least a part-time job by going to her boss with my plight.
So, on Monday, I received an e-mail from my lecturer's boss about a walk-in interview at the National Poison Center, in Main Campus. The position is for Research Assistant, with a contract for 3 months. The research is for an international tobacco control policy. This is something I really would love to get involve in because I have been trying to get Ahmad to quit smoking (and btw, Nazrin is really sabotaging his ciggies supply by crushing them up whenever Ahmad left them unattended, haha) and any part I can do to fight the tobacco companies, I would gladly do.
Problem is, if I get the job, it would be in Penang & I would have to commute quite a bit, about 4 hours both ways. Plus, in that e-mail, applicants would be required to work on weekends and on shifts. Being a SAHM for so long, I'm not comfortable with leaving my boys with anyone for long periods of time, even Ahmad himself. Especially not TB!
And that my friends, is my BIGGEST concern.
What if I do get the job and I do have to work in shifts, day or night, and during weekends too, and Ahmad calls TB to help out with the boys??! I've had enough of TB trying to win over Shahrin and I will not let TB win over Nazrin too. I don't care if the house falls apart at the seams when and if I leave these 3 males by themselves. But I will NOT stand by and let TB rule my boys.
But then again, I need this. Desperately need it.
Our financial standing is on the rocks again. No surprise there. If he would step up, man up or whatever, then I need to, for the sake of my boys. I hate not being able to give them what their hearts desire just because I couldn't afford it. And don't forget, my parents are on my back again about the whole 'get a job' thing. Though I know they are very concern about us but I wish they could just let me be. *sigh*
I could practically hear their disappointment whenever I talk to them on the phone. I am the only child, minus my youngest brother who is still studying, who haven't got a job. And whenever we have a family gathering, only the boys and I will attend since Ahmad wouldn't leave his stupid friends, even for a few days. Usually, during these gatherings, I would feel pitied by my family. My father would always provide for us because he knows I don't have enough money to splurge on anything. Plus, when my siblings are being lovey-dovey with their spouses, Ahmad's absence really tore my heart.
Well, enough with the soap opera. I've made my bed of thorns and so, I have to sleep in it.
My plan for the interview is I am going to call the person in charge and ask him about my concerns regarding working long hours. Maybe we can work something out.
Or not.
The interview will be on the 16th. So, if you're reading this, please pray for me, ok?
My business writing lecturer has taken quite an interest in my quest to find a job or more specifically my LACK of job. She has taken it upon herself to help me secure a job, at least a part-time job by going to her boss with my plight.
So, on Monday, I received an e-mail from my lecturer's boss about a walk-in interview at the National Poison Center, in Main Campus. The position is for Research Assistant, with a contract for 3 months. The research is for an international tobacco control policy. This is something I really would love to get involve in because I have been trying to get Ahmad to quit smoking (and btw, Nazrin is really sabotaging his ciggies supply by crushing them up whenever Ahmad left them unattended, haha) and any part I can do to fight the tobacco companies, I would gladly do.
Problem is, if I get the job, it would be in Penang & I would have to commute quite a bit, about 4 hours both ways. Plus, in that e-mail, applicants would be required to work on weekends and on shifts. Being a SAHM for so long, I'm not comfortable with leaving my boys with anyone for long periods of time, even Ahmad himself. Especially not TB!
And that my friends, is my BIGGEST concern.
What if I do get the job and I do have to work in shifts, day or night, and during weekends too, and Ahmad calls TB to help out with the boys??! I've had enough of TB trying to win over Shahrin and I will not let TB win over Nazrin too. I don't care if the house falls apart at the seams when and if I leave these 3 males by themselves. But I will NOT stand by and let TB rule my boys.
But then again, I need this. Desperately need it.
Our financial standing is on the rocks again. No surprise there. If he would step up, man up or whatever, then I need to, for the sake of my boys. I hate not being able to give them what their hearts desire just because I couldn't afford it. And don't forget, my parents are on my back again about the whole 'get a job' thing. Though I know they are very concern about us but I wish they could just let me be. *sigh*
I could practically hear their disappointment whenever I talk to them on the phone. I am the only child, minus my youngest brother who is still studying, who haven't got a job. And whenever we have a family gathering, only the boys and I will attend since Ahmad wouldn't leave his stupid friends, even for a few days. Usually, during these gatherings, I would feel pitied by my family. My father would always provide for us because he knows I don't have enough money to splurge on anything. Plus, when my siblings are being lovey-dovey with their spouses, Ahmad's absence really tore my heart.
Well, enough with the soap opera. I've made my bed of thorns and so, I have to sleep in it.
My plan for the interview is I am going to call the person in charge and ask him about my concerns regarding working long hours. Maybe we can work something out.
Or not.
The interview will be on the 16th. So, if you're reading this, please pray for me, ok?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Our menu for today.
I was feeling rather motivated this morning, so I went grocery shopping. I bought half a chicken, some Chinese mustard plant (sayur sawi), I actually wanted to buy kailan but since they don't have any, I had to settle with the mustard plant instead. I also bought some chilies, dried anchovies and the makings of a
chicken soup.
Here they are! Clockwise from top: chicken soup, fried chicken with chilies, fried mustard plant with anchovies, chilies and soy sauce, and some plain fried chicken.
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| Chicken soup |
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| Fried chicken with chilies. |
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| Fried mustard plant with anchovies, chilies and a dash of soy sauce. |
The basic preparation needed for all 3 dishes were the same; onions, garlic and some ginger.
I peeled and blended these 3 ingredients separately, for easy use/sauteing in all 3 dishes.
Just the type of cooking I prefer, easy and simple!
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