Mixed emotions.

First off, Shahrin's been kidnapped, AGAIN! Ughhh..how I hate knowing that he's there with Ahmad's mother, far away from me. HATE HATE HATE!!!!

I'm seething right now, can you tell?

Not just because she took Shahrin with her for a 2nights sleepover, it's also because she told me something that would have every mom clutching her heart with fear.

She had a little chitchat with our neighbor before she went back to her house in Taiping. That neighbor told her that Shahrin & Nazrin wandered around her house one day with no supervision (read: I wasn't there with them). Unluckily, her house is right beside the main road, so their unsupervised walk caused a bruhaha at her house. She shooed them home right away when she saw that they were playing alone.

When I heard this story, what came to mind was fear, anger and bafflement. Fear for my sons, of what could have happened to them should they wander onto the road. Anger at her for directing that tone of hers that I hate so much when she didn't even ask me for my side of the story. Bafflement plus anger at the story and Ahmad because as far as I am concern, I've never let them out of the house if Ahmad's not outside or if I couldn't go out with them or our neighbors are not around. Usually, the boys would play outside when our neighbor's grandkids are outside too or her sister-in-law's children are there as well. (The neighbor's house is in front, her SIL's at the back and the house we live in is beside theirs) So, how could it be that the boys had wandered so far to the front that nobody noticed??

I'm still seething. At myself, at Ahmad's mother, at Ahmad.

Did she really expect me to follow along with the boys wherever they go? Given my current condition?? It's always like this with her. She's quick to point fingers, to place blame. These are exactly why I hate her so much. Plus, she'd always put the blame on me coz she dare not anger Ahmad lest he bail out on her. While we're at it, where was Ahmad when this happened? He's always outside, chatting the day away with his pals. Why weren't he there when the boys wandered that far??

I know I'm partly to blame but damn it! I'm still angry at them both for different reasons.

And she had the galls to take Shahrin along to her house when she knows bloody well I don't like it when she does! UGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!