Dilemma of a pregnant Ibu..

Called my parents this morning. 

Well, actually Nazrin was the one who wanted to call his Wan but I took the opportunity to talk to them too.

My mom is still down with fever...*sad*

They stopped by here the other day, on their trip from back home in Alor Star to Atan's house in Ampang during the Chinese New Year holidays.

Mama got sick on the 2nd day they were back home. Since my parents have been taking care of Atan's new baby at her house for the past month, mama had to clean the month-long abandoned house from top to bottom the moment they arrived. She swept and mopped the floor, dusted the furniture, basically spring cleaning the whole house for the baby's sake. She got sick right after that.

This in itself is not new. My mama has been known to work herself sick all the time, especially when her flock gathers at home for holidays or during family gatherings. She always had to be the one to do everything; cook, clean, do laundries, tidy up mess (which to me is quite pointless when you have just about a dozen kids running around all day) and by the end of the day, she'd be bone tired and eventually get sick. It's not like we don't help her with the chores, it's just that she would always do things MORE than each of us combined. 

So, here's my dilemma. I've been planning to have this baby plus spend my confinement period back home. This was the case when I had Shahrin and Nazrin although I only spent a week at home for confinement when I had Shahrin due to him being born earlier than planned. I had him in Taiping and spent most of my confinement time at the hospital where he's at. With Nazrin, Ahmad sent Shahrin and I back to my parents 1 month early (out of fear that Nazrin could be born early too) and I finished my confinement under my parents watchful eyes. 

We had planned the same thing for this baby too since my mama didn't want me to overwork myself taking care of 2 big boys (we could say that I actually have 3 big 'boys' heheh) and a baby plus the usual house chores. I'm supposed to stay focused on healing myself for at least 40 days (the usual confinement period among Malays) by resting, eating a special diet for new mothers and other herbal medicine. I shouldn't be doing anything strenuous like lifting heavy objects or subjecting myself to cold water too often. Mama doesn't trust Ahmad to help me with my usual jobs around the house thus the reason for my spending time at home after having my babies.

Unfortunately, my youngest sister just gave birth back in October last year and she too spent her confinement with my parents. They took care of the baby, her 1st born and herself while she focused on getting better. These days, they are taking care of the baby since my sister has started going back to work and her Indonesian babysitter has gone home with no news when she's coming back to Malaysia. My parents assured me that by the time I'm ready to deliver, my sister would have hired a new sitter and they would be free to take care of me too. 

Today, knowing that my mama is sick, I'm beginning to doubt the idea of going home for this delivery. My parents have spent almost 4 month looking after my sister and her kids. They ARE getting older; Baba would sometimes be bedridden with gout while Mama always have had problems with her aching joints. If I do spend time with them this coming March till maybe around May, I would be burdening them with 4 additional individuals to look after. 3 kids are not easy to handle especially for older folks. Even I have trouble controlling them and I'm their mother who spends 24/7 with them. I don't know if I can impose on my parents with my flock so soon after they had to look after my sister's flock. If my sister hadn't had her baby first, then it would've been a different story all together.

BUT........

I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE MY CONFINEMENT HERE! due to several emotional issues.

So, what should I do? I'm torn between keeping my parents healthy and my issues. 

UGHHHH....