Bad girl! Bad girl!

I am, without a doubt, my own worst enemy. Dang!

I got an e-mail from my brother 2 days ago, about job vacancies offered by a medical company in Penang. The company have 9 vacancies and 5 of them are related to engineering. Ok, I may have to contact them to know more about these positions but it seems like an ex-Chemical Engineering student like me would be eligible for most of these positions.
(Or so I hope)

However..

As I read the e-mail, as I looked at the job titles, as I contemplated the idea of submitting my resume, my mind is already shooting down the thoughts as they fleeted across my brain.

*sound of whispers*

no, you're not good enough for that job...

no, that job sounds complicated..
ermm, are you sure about that one?...
definitely not that one, you don't even KNOW what it's about...

I can totally connect with Linkin Park's song, "Papercut"

"Papercut"

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today.
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
Like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)

(credit: AZ Lyrics Universe)

This version of me has definitely need a time-out.
I am sick of her!
I want the old me back, the-girl-who-hold-the-world-in-her-palms me.
I am sick of being pitied by my parents.

Dang! Dang! Dang!