Kucing and Nazrin

No matter how hard Nazrin squeezed her or how annoyed she gets when Nazrin kept holding on to her, she'd always finds her way to his side for a nap.

K.I.S.S.

Keep It Simple Stupid. (Someone in the internet used this phrase, I'm just borrowing it)

Or something to that effect, heh.
Shahrin has been going at me to make him some pancakes. He just wouldn't drop it since yesterday.
So, today after coming home from Taiping Hospital (another post), Ahmad picked up some stuff from the grocery shop.

To make my version of pancakes. I kind of cheated on the recipe since my version is the simplified version of 2 recipes I found online (no links though, sorry). I used only the same ingredients found in both recipes and ignored the ones that were mentioned only in either one of them.

A bit burnt since I had to multitask between cooking & making sure the boys took their baths

Shahrin's body parts heh

That's not maple syrup (drool...don't know where to get me some) just honey...

My recipe:

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 egg
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup fresh milk
Essence of vanilla
2 tablespoon cooking oil (couldn't find butter here)

I just threw everything in the blender and gave it a whizz. Put a saucepan on the stove, drizzle in some oil and I went to town making my family some pancakes for dinner.

Simple. Just the way I like things to be.

Sulking in silence...

All day long.

This actually happened last night but I was still so upset about it that I didn't want to say anything yet, just in case I'll regret it later.

My parents & my youngest brother came by around 9.30pm on their way to KL. They drove from Alor Star and stopped here since they're taking the train from here to KL. The train was scheduled to leave from the Bagan Serai station at 11.00pm so they stayed for an hour before my father began shooing everyone out of the house. We all packed into the car they came in (we're car-sitting for the weekend) with my parents and my bro in the backseats and I got the front seat. Ahmad drove, off course.

When we got there, it was only 10.40pm and not many passenger have arrived. So, we sat down and made small talks while waiting for the train to come. The boys spent the time running around like crazy and no amount of telling them NO!!! Boys, no running!!! could make them stop, so I just let them.

At almost 3 minutes to 11.00pm, the stationmaster came out of his office and announced that the train will be delayed till 1.00am. WHAT???? He kept the announcement super simple and the gist of it was just that, the train will only get here around 1.00am. He didn't explain why or where or when.

Anyway, as it was almost 2 hours to wait till it arrived, Ahmad and I suggested that we all get back in the car and wait till 12.30am before coming back to the station.

Somehow, Baba decided that it would be better for them to wait at the station itself. My mom, who was already sleepy by then, even went ahead and lied down on the bench. No amount of cajoling could make them change their mind. We were told to just go home and leave them there, they'll be fine. I tried persuading Mama to come home with us, at least she'd be more comfortable sleeping in bed as oppose to sleeping on the hard bench. But Baba vetoed any decision she was about to make by saying that who can sleep with the boys running around like they were doing last night.

Honestly, I felt insulted, I felt hurt and most of all I was sad by the way they chose not to wait at Ahmad's mother's house with us. I mean, they were spending almost all their time these days switching between my two sisters' house in KL and they couldn't even spend 1 and a half hour here?? Yeah, sure, this is not MY house. I just happen to live in it but I would have liked it very much if they spend more time here.

The truth is, in the course of my 6 years of marriage and living here, my family had never really spend the night here. They've always only stopped by for a few hours either on their way from AS to KL or from KL to AS. Even after Ahmad's mother moved to Taiping with her other children, my family still wouldn't spend the night here.  

So, what was I supposed to do but leave them there? Like I'm the cruel daughter who couldn't even provide a comfortable place for my parents to rest while they were here. All I can do was kissed them goodbye, wished them a safe journey and got in the car with my kids and husband. Around 12.45am, Ahmad asked me if they have boarded the train but I was so upset, I didn't want to talk to either of them. So I made Ahmad call them instead. The news was that the train was delayed till maybe 1.30am but then again, the news was of no significance to me since they didn't want me there and they didn't want to come home with us. So, I sulk.

I am still sulking.

This morning, I didn't call or SMS them asking about their trip. I don't know what time they arrived in KL and I definitely don't know when they are coming back. They were only supposed to spend 2 days there but I suspect they'll stay even longer visiting their youngest granddaughter.

Well, it looks like I just have to sulk in silence since there is absolutely nothing I can do about the current situation.


*sigh*

Better to abort or dump?

Please go read this at Cecily's, I'll wait for you. Read through all the comments too.

So, what do you think?

Personally, I don't know what to think regarding this issue because such actions can never be done by me. Plus I don't think it's legal to abort here in Malaysia and is the amniocentesis test available here? I have no idea. I did find some links that explains the legality of abortion but most of them are in forums, so I don't know if they are legit.

But the real question is, between abortion and baby dumping, which is the worst?






Almost everyday we read about babies being dumped in the most heartbreaking manner, all over Malaysia.
517 babies have been dumped since 2005, as reported here in The Malaysia Insider.

The good news is about half of this number have happy endings since the babies were found still alive. Not so with the other half though. *mommy tears*

I mean, how cruel is that???
How can a person carry her baby till full term and then just dump it in the toilet, in a bag by the dumpster, stuffed into a trash can of a gas station, left by the roadside, thrown from the fifth floor!!!

There are cases where the babies are left in places where other people can easily find them. Those at least showed that the babies' mothers or whoever dumped them have a heart. Maybe they were afraid of the consequences of having babies out of wedlock, thus dumping the babies seemed the only way to go but they still loved their babies enough to place them somewhere that they can be found.

Both issues touched my heart. Abortion is a serious issue but so is baby dumping. One is about deciding to end a life before it really begins while the other one is about getting rid of a life when you don't want to deal with it. So, which one is more horrible than the other?

I had so much to say (in my head) when I first read Cecily's entry but now, all I can think about is MY Baby in MY womb. How I will love him/her with all my heart, just as much as I love my two boys.

And I thank GOD everyday for these precious gifts.

p/s: this entry is rather lame, isn't it? As I mentioned above, I had a lot more to say while I was reading Cecily's entry but now, at this moment, my thoughts have deserted me. I would have loved to elaborate my feelings on this topic more eloquently but the reasoning and facts to support my thoughts are not coming through for now. So sorry about that.

Today...

1. Shahrin, who has the fever since yesterday, is vomiting frequently. This only started earlier this morning. Should I be worried?

2. Today is the last day of EOD BP monitoring. So far, everything looks fine, blood pressure maintained at 110/70 since last week & no more protein in my urine, alhamdulillah. Thursday will be a more thorough check-up plus an ultrasound scan. Can't wait to see Baby again.

3. Last month, my total personal income (money from doing freelance writing) was RM325.00. I've just checked my account heheh.

4. I'm already booked for more writing assignments. Not sure if I can comply during my confinement but they were insistent, so I guess I have to rope in my youngest brother as my hired help :p

5. I didn't sleep last night. AT ALL! Till after Subuh prayer (I know..shouldn't have slept after praying but couldn't help myself any longer)  

6. Ahmad has been surfing & checking out smartphones, BBs and iPhones. Just saying...

List of Baby's items.

I'm only starting to do this today muahahahahahah...

Just started washing a load of cloth nappies plus some newborn PJs for the baby.
Most of the items in our Baby-storage box have been with us for 6 years, starting with Shahrin, handed down to Nazrin and this year, they will belong to Baby.

Baby's items currently available:
1- Nappies (although mostly will be used for swaddling and as towel/wipe since Baby will be wearing diapers)
2- Newborn sized PJ and daytime wear
3- Booties and mittens
4- Barut (binder?) for Baby's tummy
5- Baby blankets
6- 1 baby hat/cap?

Items we may need to buy soon:
1- More caps
2- 2 or 3 pairs of newborn wears
3- Cute receiving blanket (teheheh)
4- Newborn diapers
5- Wet wipes
6- Toiletries

Items I wish we have but not likely to buy:
1- Stroller (never owned one)
2- New baby cot (we do  have one but the boys never used it much so it has become a sort of storage area
     now)

Plus I haven't even prepared a traveling bag for myself just in case I might need to go to the hospital sometime soon (though I'd rather wait till my actual EDD).

Walking zombie much?

This sleeping disorder(?) I'm currently experiencing is totally putting my life out of whack!

Couldn't sleep even if I wanted to till 3-4am then oversleeping till 9-10am.
Shahrin had missed quite a number of schooldays due to my current condition. *sigh*

Then, by mid afternoon (12.30-3pm) I'd crash like the dead, oblivious to the world. I don't even know what goes on during my afternoon nap but I do know that these days, I can count on Ahmad to look after the boys while I sleep the day away. So, it's kind of a give-and-take situation where he'd get to sleep-in till 12.30 while I make sure Shahrin goes to preschool in the morning & Nazrin is fed and bathed. After that, I'd wake Ahmad up to go pick Shahrin up after school and I get the chance to crash while he looks after the boys.

Last night was the worst.

Baby kept moving around so much, I couldn't get comfortable enough to actually fall asleep. *double sigh*

So, this morning I am up with the azan Subuh and still can't get a wink. That's why I'm writing this entry hahah.
Well, looks like it's time for Shahrin to go to school. Better wake him up.

Owh..I forgot, Ahmad told me his bike got a flat tire.
Hmm..better let him send Shahrin to school then.

Toodles!

AHA! moment while watching TV?

Watched Criminal Minds tonight.
Love! LOve! LOVe! LOVE it!!!!

As usual, there were quotes spoken by the characters as the opening and closing part.

Tonight, Dr. Reid (love this character, sometimes funny but always brilliant!) said a quote by James T. McKay.

"TOMORROW, YOU PROMISE YOURSELF, WILL BE DIFFERENT, YET, TOMORROW IS TOO OFTEN A REPETITION OF TODAY."

As Oprah always says, this was an AHA! moment @ lightbulb moment for me when I heard it tonight.
This is soooooo totally me.

Wake-up call for ANIS!!!!!!

Yesterday...

Yesterday was spent going from one medical establishment to another.

From early morning to late in the evening. Starting with a visit to Taiping Hospital (the ACN clinic) to see an OB-GYN there at 10am which lasted till 1.30pm. The usual checks were performed; weight, urine test, blood pressure and a little chitchat regarding my past 2 pregnancies.This whole part itself didn't take that long, it's the waiting-outside-in-the-hallway-to-eventually-SEE-the-doctor that took hours. We're used to this situation since the day Shahrin was born, so we took it like a pro. But there are countless others who were constantly complaining and making rude remarks about how slow things are and they're wasting their time there. The usual pain in the butt kind of people who think the world revolves around them *ughhh* 

I mean, come on! Do you really expect the doctors to just rush through every patient just to make the waiting list grow shorter? Would you have liked it if the doctors just do a cursory glance at you and then send you home with a few advice, just because you don't want to waste your time there? But then, whatever. It's not my problem anyway.

So, I digress heheh. All in all, it was the usual kind of waiting with the boys running around with a bunch of other children, making the waiting a bit more interesting since you get to see parents trying to break off fights, pushes (boys will be boys) and overall children-related mayhem. 

When it was FINALLY my turn, I went in and sat down opposite the doctor who is actually 1 year older than I am. How do I know this? He told me himself when he looked at my IC number heheh. We chatted a bit about my past deliveries and the related medical conditions. Then, he got down to business regarding this pregnancy. I have been referred to them since I underwent a C-section for Nazrin's delivery. So, the main concerns about this are:

1- I have tissue-scaring in my womb and my stomach skin. With such scars, the doctor is concerned that during contractions when I am due to deliver Baby, the tissues might be torn apart at the scar area. This could lead to heavy bleeding or hemorrhage, which could be fatal. 

2- Usually, with cases like mine, the doctors would offer the patient a choice between having a normal delivery or go through another C-section. If the patient chooses to try for a normal delivery, she would have around 6-8 hours of trying before matters are taken out of her hands. After this period when she is still unable to deliver the baby, then the doctor would immediately order an operation. This is to prevent the scarred tissues from tearing during prolonged contractions. Unfortunately, as the doctor told me, this situation would mean that future pregnancies would have to be monitored even more closely due to issue #1.

3- In this trimester (in my case, the 3rd trimester, I'm already 8 month along) I should pay close attention to any sudden or intense pain in my abdomen. He said this kind of pain would be different from contractions & that I should not try to 'wait till the pain is gone' or 'try to self-medicate myself' by rubbing oil or something like I did when I had the ectopic pregnancy back in 2007. That kind of pain could indicate that something could be wrong in there & waiting for it to go away could put Baby and myself in danger.    

Apart from that, there were also concerns about protein detected in my urine. Read more about protein in urine here and here. As these articles have stated, this could indicate a bigger problem which is preeclampsia. I've wrote about this condition here. So, the doctor has ordered me to bring some forms to my local clinic for a follow-up on urine test as well as an EOD BP. The EOD BP test is a blood pressure test to be taken every other day, starting on Monday next week. The doctor did told me not to worry to much about this condition as it was never detected before. Hopefully, this condition will go away on its own but I still have to check back with my local clinic for a closer monitoring. 

Then, we had a little 'visit' with Baby, which 1) gave the doctor a shock as Baby kicked just when he placed the 'wand' thingy on my belly and we had a good laugh over it, 2) still unable to determine Baby's gender since we were only presented with the backbone and a few more kicks and 3) a relief to me since Baby is calculated to be in the normal weight range. Alhamdulillah. 

So, after a few more minutes of chatting, we finally settled everything and I was to report myself to the clinic with the forms the doctor gave me. As it was already lunchtime, we headed out to the nearest McDonald for some burgers and ice cream (I've been looking forward for the ice cream heheh). After Zuhur prayer, we rushed back to Bagan Serai and while at the clinic, I had to go through the same routine again. My 2nd urine test for yesterday revealed that I indeed have some protein in my pee. So, as the big doctor's order, I have to be there again next Monday for my first EOD BP, on Wednesday for a second EOD BP and another urine test, on Friday for a 3rd EOD BP and the following week for more follow-ups. 

Well, that about wraps up what happened to me yesterday. Today was spent as leisurely and unproductively as my bulging belly allows heheh. Hopefully tomorrow will be more fruitful as I intend to ask a neighbor here to come and help me clean house. No visitors, please! hehehehe

My to-do list for today...

Hopefully, I can get them all ticked off but then again....

heheheheh...

1- Laundry (with 2 adults and 2 kids, I have to do this EVERY.SINGLE.DAY!)

2- Fold them (yesterday's load)

3- Take out the boys' old baby clothes for tomorrow's washing (I'm already 32weeks in & have done absolutely nothing to prepare for Baby's arrival *sigh*)

4- Try and finish up writing project.

Well, that's about all I'm gonna try to tackle for today.

The longer the list, the more frustrated I get if I can't get them done. Better to just keep them short & simple.

Have a good day everyone!

I think it's settled then...

Ahmad's mom came by yesterday.

She told me today that if I spend my confinement back at my parents house, she's gonna hire people to come and re-floor (put in new layer of cement?) the floor. It's currently non-uniformed and have holes in certain spots.

Well, since she's the owner of this house, guess I'm crashing in at my parents come March.


YAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Couldn't jump myself, so he's doing it for me :D

Gotta break this cycle!!!

Feeling super duper sleepy!
Nothing new there. Been like this since 2 weeks ago.
Can't sleep at night, can't stay awake during the day.
*sigh*

Still have 2 more writing/editing projects to finish by end of this month.
Really have to focus more on my projects and less on this uncomfortable feeling that will not go away till Baby is out.

Heading of to bed now.
Ahmad's up, now it's his turn to watch the boys.
Ibu needs some shut eye.

Bye!!!

3rd trimester update.

Uh uh..

Getting into the 3rd trimester, I seriously feel like being back in the 1st trimester only minus the morning sickness, alhamdulillah.

My baby bump is making it hard for me to bend down, get up and even lie down. My body aches all over and getting comfortable is a chore all on its own. But then again, that's the case with being pregnant, right? Heheh..

I've been busy this past week, thus the absence of any update. Apart from being superslow-mo while doing housechores, I've also been experiencing 'mild' insomnia. Can't sleep at night but majorly sleepy during the day. *sigh* Don't know which one is worse, trying to count sheep at night while cajoling baby to go to sleep or hitting the sack but kept getting "IBUUUU!!!!!" calls from the boys during the day. This situation has affected my brain, causing me to stare at the lappy screen for hours on end, with no progress on work whatsoever. AHahah...

All in all, life goes on as usual around here.

Baby is kicking up a storm these days. Always stretching and kicking and pushing into my gallbladder (seriously, having to pee every 5 minutes is no fun at all when you're like a beached whale...). It is also super active at night, thus the insomnia thing. Even during the day, it'll be dancing around in its amniotic fluid with glee while I just sit and 'try' to relax at the sideline. Sometimes, I can even see my belly moving to Baby's constant movement. And it never fails to amaze me, even after my previous pregnancies, that I have something precious within my womb, to cherish, to love and to nurture when Baby is ready to face the world.

We'll be going to Hospital Taiping next week for my 32 weeks check-up. The reason for this is because of my pregnancy history with the boys; i) Shahrin was premature and weighted only 1.66kg at birth and ii) Nazrin was born via C-sect due to possible fetal distress condition (meconium related). Guess I'll be seeing an OB-GYN there for consultation regarding this pregnancy. Hope everything goes well.

I've talked to my parents about my concerns over Mama's health and they seemed to embrace the idea well. Too well for my liking, in fact. I was kind of hoping that my mom would be adamant about me giving birth at home with her, like the last time. But this time around, they just said that it's up to me to decide and that they will help with the financial end of things if I do give birth and spend my confinement here. They would pay for someone to come and help with household chores and for a midwife to come look after me and Baby. I was actually hoping that they would say, "No, come home to us and we'll take care of you and your children" but it seems that maybe they realized that they too have to rest and take care of their health too.

Ahmad seems happy with this arrangement though since he wouldn't have to travel every week to my parents house like last time. However, I'm still thinking things over, this is not my final decision yet. I still have 1 more month before making my decision.

Oh, speaking of that, I haven't done ANYTHING in preparation for Baby. Ughhh..guess I know what I have to do today..sort out the boys' old baby clothes and nappies and blankets and booties and mittens and and and and......


*sigh*