I wish:
1- For a place of our own.
It's my own fault. I didn't ask him about living arrangements before we got married. Now I'm stuck here babysitting TB's house. At least she's moved out. Kind of. Still have to pretend to be nice to TB whenever she's here every Monday. Why can't she just stay away? Blah!
2- To be financially independent, from parents and Husband.
We were financially fine before Husband decided not to be a merchant anymore and takes up lorry driving again. Now my parents have stepped in and decided that they are going to be my official banker. Mom said that I need to accept their money since their pension money last only for as long as they are alive. Feels kind of guilty and shameful taking their money. But Mom doesn't take no for an answer. Argh!
3- To find my true self, I'm still lost.
Considering my younger years where I've achieve so many things, been so many places, seen so many people, nowadays are monotonous. I don't know me anymore. I'm lost. I feel like I've lost the best part of me and I don't know where or how or when it happened. I'm sad. Waah!
4- For a better lifestyle for my children.
I didn't really thought about it but my sons are not getting the best in life. Mom was right when she said my sons are poor compared to their cousins. and it hurts to have that thrown at you. This is one of the reason why I don't really fight for the right to visit my parents much. I do miss them but I always feel like I have to defend myself whenever they bring up my current situation and how sad they feel about it. I know they only want the best for me but I need to do this on my own. I do provide the best that I can for my sons, except that my 'best' is not up to par with my siblings, according to Mom. Urgh!
Some people say, "Be careful what you wish for!" and I have first-hand experience on this. However, these wishes are not selfish, thoughtless nor self-serving. These are my plea to the universe, to GOD, to make my life more meaningful because I don't really have time to make a vision board like Oprah.
1- For a place of our own.
It's my own fault. I didn't ask him about living arrangements before we got married. Now I'm stuck here babysitting TB's house. At least she's moved out. Kind of. Still have to pretend to be nice to TB whenever she's here every Monday. Why can't she just stay away? Blah!
2- To be financially independent, from parents and Husband.
We were financially fine before Husband decided not to be a merchant anymore and takes up lorry driving again. Now my parents have stepped in and decided that they are going to be my official banker. Mom said that I need to accept their money since their pension money last only for as long as they are alive. Feels kind of guilty and shameful taking their money. But Mom doesn't take no for an answer. Argh!
3- To find my true self, I'm still lost.
Considering my younger years where I've achieve so many things, been so many places, seen so many people, nowadays are monotonous. I don't know me anymore. I'm lost. I feel like I've lost the best part of me and I don't know where or how or when it happened. I'm sad. Waah!
4- For a better lifestyle for my children.
I didn't really thought about it but my sons are not getting the best in life. Mom was right when she said my sons are poor compared to their cousins. and it hurts to have that thrown at you. This is one of the reason why I don't really fight for the right to visit my parents much. I do miss them but I always feel like I have to defend myself whenever they bring up my current situation and how sad they feel about it. I know they only want the best for me but I need to do this on my own. I do provide the best that I can for my sons, except that my 'best' is not up to par with my siblings, according to Mom. Urgh!
Some people say, "Be careful what you wish for!" and I have first-hand experience on this. However, these wishes are not selfish, thoughtless nor self-serving. These are my plea to the universe, to GOD, to make my life more meaningful because I don't really have time to make a vision board like Oprah.
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