I found that she covers just about every topic there is on the planet and some of them have been very useful and eye-opening for me. Though I don't quite like her one-on-one interviews because they are mostly about celebrities or VIPs, you know, things that don't really matter to me, but I watch them anyway.
Recently, I watched the show where she had Dr. Robert Holden, a Happiness Expert over and there were a bunch of individuals who were asked to rate their happiness. Looking at just their physical appearances, I did some personal ratings myself. At the end of the show, Oprah revealed each persons' happiness ratings. Was I wrong about my personal ratings, based on appearances alone. I found out that people can really be great actors/actresses when it comes to presenting themselves to the world. Although some people really do look the part (i.e dejected, forlorn, sad) others can seem so outgoing and full of energy, yet feeling down in the dumps. I think I'm somewhat in between, some days I show my feelings, other days I can look happy and smiley yet suffer silently inside. A hypocrite, that's who I am.
Mostly, what I learned from that show is that I have a 'destination addiction' syndrome. In the 5 years of being married & living with Hubby's mother, all I could think of is moving out and having our own home. I kept thinking that if only we have our own place, I'd be happier. If only I have my own money, I'd be happier. If only TB goes away, I'd be happier.
I am happy, to some level. I truly am grateful and thankful for my two sons. I love Hubby very much, though I could easily bang his head with a frying pan. I appreciate all the help, support and love my parents and siblings have given me. I am happy I still have friends who listen and be there for me, though they all live far away.
BUT.
There's always a 'but' surrounding my current happy state.
I love Hubby but he rarely shows his appreciation for all the effort I put into making our living situation better. Granted, he doesn't really care about what has been going on between me and TB (his mother). And I KNOW that I have let her be the controlling factor in my happiness. I let her make me feel unhappy, thus the wish to move out. But, even when she's not here, her presences surrounds me, choking me, dragging me down.
I love my parents but there's only so much they can do. Even with their intervention, Hubby still wouldn't move out. And I let him make that decision for me. I tried begging, threatening even asking for divorce (out of desperation, I really HATE TB!) but he, being the silent type that he is, just kept on doing his stuff and leaving me to deal with everything else.
Well, I am learning. I am building up my courage. I will try to find my happiness. After all, it is not a destination, it is a journey. I'm going back here to find out more about how to change my predicament. And I have to stop blaming everyone else when it has all been my bad choices.
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