Being a woman; mother and wife.

For full text, please go here

p/s: Notice how I've finally figured out how to 'print-screen' a page I like?  

Totally lame, I know but I'm a slow-learner heheh

First of all, I think I've made it known here that I hate TB.

Now that I've establish that, I have to inform you that TB's back, permanently, in my life again!

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Last year when I wrote this, I really thought that TB would no longer be a thorn in my side,
at least not as pesky a thorn as she was 4 years back.
Back then, I didn't write down my #1 freedom.

Honestly, it's freedom from TB.

After our HUGE fall-out close to my due-date (preggy with Nazrin at the time), I kept
pestering Ahmad about moving out and renting a house for our family.
He did nothing about it even after his biological father stepped in and tried to convince him to
move us out of the current house we're living in; read: TB's house.
This parental intervention was also joined by my parents, who offered to pay for our rent
if he agrees to move out. As it is with Ahmad, he didn't say YES or NO.
He just maintained a stony silence with all parties involved in this drama.

To cut a long story short, while I stayed with my parents a month before giving birth to Nazrin & during confinement afterwards, TB told Ahmad that we can stay in that house because...

She's moving out!




That, ladies and gentlemen, was my FIRST FREEDOM for last year.
She moved to Taiping, staying with her other adopted son who is working there.
I was free of her presence for at least 5 days a week.  
She always come back on Mondays to attend a micro-financing meeting here.
I can manage the smaller percentage of her presence and could breathe a sigh of relief during her absence.

Unfortunately, as of yesterday, it has been confirmed that
TB IS MOVING BACK IN!!!!!!
Why? Because she wants to help with Shahrin and Nazrin.


ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH


This sad news was delivered to me by our neighbor, who is a good friend of TB's,
so she knows all the current gossip regarding TB.
I could have cried, right there and then but as we were standing there in front of TB's front door,
I saw her car coming into the driveway and I excused myself from the neighbor and went inside my room,
to scream into the pillow. 


So, what's the connection of all this hoolaabaloo with the link above?
Well, as I read this, I realized that each one of the points stated there are right.
I can relate with every point as I am now all of the persona stated above.
 I am mother and wife now.

I feel, experience, lived through and currently going through all the possibilities written in it.

But, if you read through No.6, I need you to know that I have been stupidly contemplating the D-word
even though I love Ahmad so much, it hurts.
Just because he wouldn't move out of that house.

At the peak of our fight regarding my hatred for TB (he knows how much I hate his mother) and his stubbornness about staying there, I did tell him that I would consider the D-word if this problem wasn't resolve quickly.
He stormed out of the house, didn't come back till around 2am and didn't speak to me for the whole week.
But he did finally allow me to go back home to my parents during my pregnancy with Nazrin.
A small reprieve but at least it got me out of that house and away from TB.

But how long do I have to suffer TB before I finally break?
How will I know that our love will still be strong, with this problem hanging over our heads?
Can I still stay with him when he wouldn't even consider moving out?

As for the last part, No.7, I am thankful for having tears to cry just because
I AM A WOMAN