Bitter sweet memory.

KRYPTONITE
by 3 DOORS DOWN

I took a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind.
I left my body lying somewhere
In the sands of time.
But I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon.

I feel there's nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon.
After all I knew it had to be
Something to do with you.
I really don’t mind what happens now and then
As long as you’ll be my friend at the end.

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman.
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand.
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might, Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep.
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down. You stumbled
in and bumped your head, and if not
for me THEN you'd be dead.

I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground.

If I go crazy then will you still

Call me Superman.
If I’m alive and well,
Will you be there holding my hand.
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might, Kryptonite

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman.
If I’m alive and well, will you be there
Holding my hand.
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might, Kryptonite

(lyrics curtsy of Lyrics007)

This post is written in honor of my dearest friend, now residing in Down Under. She posted a video clip of this song by 3 Doors Down and I had a deja vu moment while watching it.

The memory was bitter sweet and it happened during my undergrad years. It happened during my 2nd year, 2nd semester. I was sitting at my table, studying for my final exams while listening to the radio. At that particular moment, Kryptonite was blaring on my favorite channel, Hitz.FM.

A few hours earlier, I had a breakdown, literally. I cried buckets and screamed into my pillow and very nearly trash my room out of frustration. It was over something my friends did that made me feel angry and left out. Since I didn't know who to turn to then, I wrote a letter* to my mother. I told her everything about what happened that day, I didn't leave anything out; my frustration, my feelings, how much I was hurting. I even made a pledge to her and myself; I will never let anyone made me feel that way again. After that cleansing purge, I washed my face, composed myself and pulled out my lecture notes. I did find myself still sniffing a little, blanking out a minute or two, I just couldn't concentrate. Till I heard Kryptonite on the radio. I knew the lyrics but they didn't really mean anything till that moment. As I sat there, listening to the song, thinking about what had happened, the lyrics clicked. I was finally able to let go of my resentment and paid full attention to my notes.

Two days later, during my exam, I was so relieved to see that I was totally prepared for it. Even more satisfying, I knew both the answers to a 2 choice questions marked 20 each. I studied them that day after I had my crying binge. I still smile today, thinking back on that exam day. It may have been my greatest achievement ever!

So, that's my story regarding the song. Thank you my friend for putting it up on FB. It made me feel strong again.

* Why a letter? I thought about calling her but knowing my mother, she would simply rush over from AS to Transkrian after talking to me. I didn't want her to worry about me, especially during exams, she wouldn't be able to sleep a wink knowing my situation. She's like that with all of us. I didn't even send the letter, I kept it in a folder for safekeeping. It had helped me a lot during my undergrads; whenever I feel down in the dumps, I'll read the letter to remind myself that I CAN!