Gibberish? Noo....

Only Ibu would understand what it is Nazrin is talking about, because I practically spend 24/7 with him. So, let's decipher his current gibber, shall we?

1- Ak de-de = Up (stepping up) and down (stepping down)
2- Nak tik = nak sikit/nasi/roti (ikut apa yang ada) <-- Malay for "want some"
3- Jom adi = jom mandi <-- Malay for "let's take a bath"
4- Nak a-i = nak air <-- Malay for "want some water"
5- Tut-tut = kasut <-- shoes
6- Woo-woo = the big black dog that's terrorizing our space

There's a lot more but I just could not think of anymore, dang! I know I should have written them down somewhere after he said them.

Well I'll save those for later then, now a little bit more about Nazrin's progress.

1. He understands simple commands like sit down, over there, NO!, enough etc.
2. He loves to dance to music. You should see him wiggle his butt while the Hot Dog Dance (from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse show) is playing on TV.
3. At first I didn't understand what he was doing but as he kept doing it, then it hit me, he was imitating the Little Einsteins! What he does is pat his knees while saying "Dadadada" and looks at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to provide him with the next step to the "Rocket's Blast Off' routine. The routine goes, Leo the leader would pat his thigh to give Rocket 'the power to blast off' and then say 'now raise your arms as high as you can and BLAST OFF!' while shaking his whole body. So, we've been doing these a lot lately, since he'd suddenly sit down and pat his knees, looks at me expectantly and waits for me to say the whole routine, heh.
4. At the word "Jom" <-- let's go in Malay, he'd grab one of my hijabs* from the hanger and hand it over to me, then run to the front door to grab his shoes. How cute is that?
5. If he doesn't get what he wants, he would run away from me while wailing as loud as he can, do an about turn, runs back towards me and stop. If I still say no, he'd do it all over again. He used to throw himself on the floor, a good 'Stop, drop and roll' example and waited till I come and get him. After being repeatedly ignored when he pull this trick, he'd taken the new approach. I'm just gonna wait and see how long this trick will last. Heh.

*I always wear my hijab when I have to go outside. I think after watching me put it on everytime I say "Jom" to him, he has associated the word to the hijab. So clever, that boy of mine.

Giddy with excitement over these...

(a) (b)

TADAAAAA!!!

Okay, sorry about giving you a crick in the neck but I really don't know how to flip these over. I've tried doing it in Paint but the image got to large to manipulate and I don't have any other programs to work with. I'm not so computer savvy *sigh*

Well, picture (a) is my old glasses. It was the cheapest glasses I have ever owned, only RM60. It was a packaged deal for students as offered by the optometrist. I got it nearly 4 years ago, well, the plastic lenses that is, the frames were changed a year and a half ago because of the same problem. The handle got broken, the last one was by Shahrin and this one was by Nazrin. I only wear glasses at night, after putting my contact lenses away after taking my bath. I hate wearing glasses. I hate the way they fog up after you come out of an air-conditioned space or if you are sweating a lot, I hate the pressure on the bridge of my nose, I just hate them. Thank GOD for contacts.

Anyway, since I can't wear contacts all day long (wish I could but my eyes would get very tired if I continue to wear them past 12 hours), I needed a new pair of glasses. So, yesterday, I went to my optometrist and got (b). They are a bit pricey*, RM130, frames and all. I've never had large frames before, in fact I always go for the thin frames like in (a). But there's always a first time for anything, right? While I was trying to choose the frames, my eyes kept coming back to the frames in (b). Something about the color and the dash of white really grabbed me. So, I tried it on, while mentally trying to overlook the price and fell in love with them. Since Hubby got himself a pair of Raybands last month, I figured it's my turn to splurge a little.

The optometrist told me he could get it done by 6pm, so I waited at home, patiently. At 6.05pm, I was already at the store, hands sweaty, eagerly waiting to get a hold on my new glasses. Came home and quickly put them on after putting my contacts away for the night. OMG, after trying them, I just couldn't stop showing them off and there were only Shahrin and Nazrin around! Haha! Even Shahrin got excited over them, after seeing his mother going completely bonkers, prancing around the house in her new glasses. Shameless, me. Hehehe.

*Like I said, I hate glasses and would prefer going for a Lasic treatment if I could afford one. I only wear them at night, thus the feeling of throwing money away over pricey glasses. However, needless to say, I don't regret buying (b) yesterday. Felt good to own something that I love right away.

Just a quickie.

Just a quick post with pictures of my boys.

Here is Shahrin with his 3 weeks old picture puzzle. He had turned them into a race track.

This one is yesterday's newest addition to Shahrin's toys. His grandmother (Hubby's mom) bought him a battery operated 'Rail Master Train Play Set'. He slept with the coal car last night and tonight too. He used to love trucks but since watching Thomas & His Friends,
he's switched gears to trains. *sigh*

Nazrin here is showing of his new bottle-feeding skill. Since I plan to work, someday soon, I've been teaching him to have formula as a substitute for breastmilk.
Judging from this picture, I think we're on the right track.

Maternal love.

Notice: If you are squeamish around small furry animals, please stop reading, NOW.

I have originally wanted to write about snuggling into a good book while it rains outside since its raining cats and dogs. But I don't have anything to read. So...

The picture you're about to see is two baby mice, just minutes after being born by their mouse (I prefer mouse over rats BTW) mother. I was folding my laundry in my room when I heard soft squeaking coming from my dresser, so I decided to check it out. Then, I saw this:

What really made me took this snapshot was the she-mouse, standing guard over her babies. She didn't run away like any mouse would do when approached by a human, she just scampered around amongst the green blanket there. I jiggled the dresser in the attempt to shoo her away and she did, for a while, then she came back, snuggling her babies one after the other. It was like she was counting them, making sure they were all there. Can you see her? Just peeking under the blanket at the bottom corner of this picture.

I had to 'take care' of the babies, couldn't afford to let them grow big and rummaging through my trash in 3 weeks time. But, it broke my heart to do so *cried*. They looked so innocent and helpless. I kept telling the mother, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" while she ran around in my room, looking for her babies. I tried catching her but she was too fast. I almost regretted what I did. As a mother, I pray I wouldn't ever have to go through what she had.

Then, there's this:

This picture was taken about a month ago. She had her litter right outside Hubby's mother's side- storage area. There's 7 of them, 4 blacks and 3 whites with spots.

See her sad expression? Like she's saying, "Please don't harm my puppies." Luckily she moved them all by the time I checked back. I really didn't want to have to deal with them.Then, about 2 weeks ago, my MIL's neighbor and I kept hearing whimpers coming from the drain/sewer between our houses. The dog had moved her litter inside the drain. It's been dry season for the past month so I guess it was cooler inside there.

We have tried asking Non-Muslims; an Indian uncle who collects bottles and a Chinese pet shop owner to come and get them, we'd even offered paying them for their labor but neither wanted anything to do with the puppies and the bitch. Then today, around Maghrib, it started raining. I mean POURING! It was like the sky suddenly burst open and poured down heavily onto the earth. I could barely hear myself thinking amidst the loud rain outside.

Around 9pm, the rain finally drizzled to a stop. What a downpour! As the sound around me became clear again, I heard loud whimpering from outside. THE PUPPIES! I suddenly remembered that they were in the drain and they could be drowning. I looked outside and my fear was true. 3 of them were in the middle of the drain, barely treading water. The other 4 had made it onto the bank (well, although the drain was only ankle-deep, after the heavy rain it was quite deep indeed) and were shivering in the cold. I thought about ignoring them, I mean, I really don't want to have to go through the hassle of cleansing myself with dirt water (1 part) and clean water (6 parts) as required by Islamic rules. But as a mother, I couldn't just let them drown. It's a different feeling compared to the baby mice. I don't know how to explain it.

So, I wore plastics over my hands and wrap my feet with more plastics and I went out to rescue them. The bitch was there, she looked at me helplessly and then ran away. I scooped up the 4 on the ground and put them in a box, then I used a stick to coax the 3 in the drain to swim to me. All 3 were shivering so much, I could feel them practically shaking in my hands. Then I put the box right back where they were born, in front of my MIL's side-storage area. The mother came after I went back inside, checking inside the box, counting her litter. I hope she feels relief after knowing that all 7 are safe.



As a mother..I pray to ALLAH to protect my families; my parents, my siblings and their husbands/wife, their children, their in-laws, my Hubby, my in-laws and most of all, my Shahrin and Nazrin. Dear Merciful ALLAH, keep them safe from the evils of human and demons. Please protect them and shield them in YOUR loving embrace. Amin.

Simple pleasures.

Yesterday evening, Hubby called to say we could go shopping since he'd be coming home after finishing his work. We needed to buy Shahrin a pair of sneakers for his Day Care Center's Picture Day, which is today. He was really excited about buying another pair of new shoes (we'd bought him a sandal for Eid Fitri) and couldn't sit still. By the time Hubby got home, which was around 7pm, I was at the limit of my patience with Shahrin. He wouldn't stop asking when his father is coming home because, "I want to buy a new shoe NOW!". He jumped up and down, ran here and there and was basically being a cranky 4 year old.

On the way to Parit Buntar, he kept asking, "Are we there yet?" till Hubby scolded him. That got his attention, so the rest of the journey was pretty quite. Upon arrival at the parking space near the bus station and seeing the shops there, he started doing it again. Heh.

We went to just 2 stores and finally decided on this pair:

Shahrin picked this one over a red and orange stripped BUM shoes. It looks sporty enough for a child and not too much detailing, which I love. Shahrin loves it too and that is all that matters to us. He carried it himself and couldn't stop talking about it. As we were leaving the shop, I saw these and decided Nazrin needs a new pair of shoes too:

They are super CUTE! But Nazrin was sleeping while we shopped, so we just carefully fitted them on his feet. We bought them without bothering to check out other choices. And look, it fits into my palm perfectly. CUTE!!!!

This morning, upon waking up and forgoing his usual breakfast of a bottle of formula, Shahrin asked for his new shoes. I practically had to hide it from him till both of them were all dressed up and ready. Shahrin didn't want any help, neither did Nazrin, even though he only saw his new shoes this morning. They were both so excited about their shoes and it made me so happy to see them happy. They ran around in the house, playing pee-ka-boo and showing of their shoes to me while I got ready. So, enjoy these pictures! I hope they could convey the joy and happiness shining through from my boys to you, as I saw them this morning.

Shahrin in his brand new uniform.

I do have something to complain about today though; we registered Shahrin in Jun, that's already half-way through the school year, right? So I asked the owner's daughter (she handled students' registration at that center, they have 4 btw) if we would need to buy a uniform for him because we are planning on registering him to pre-school next year, so buying a uniform for the day care center would be pointless in 7 months anyway. She said it would be okay for him to just wear his everyday clothes when at the center. So, I thought, well lucky for us for not having to dish out RM30 for a uniform. Then last week, his teachers told me that they would be organizing a Convocation Day for the 6 y.o in November and that all students would be involved. They are also required to wear their uniform. At the time they told me that, I figured, well, maybe I can borrow one from his friend or maybe I could rent it from the center. Then, on Friday last week, I was told that there's going to be a picture day on Thursday of this week (today) . On Monday I asked if one of his friends can lend him a uniform. Only one friend was about his size but the boy's mother told his teacher that he only has one uniform. So, I asked if I could rent a uniform but that request was also turned down. So, since I have no other choice, I paid up RM30 and got him a size S uniform. What really bug me is the fact that if someone from that center had informed me earlier of their Picture &Convo Day, I wouldn't have wasted my money on a uniform that's only going to be worn till end of next month. If they had told me from the start, at least Shahrin would have the chance to wear it for 6 month and not just 2. What a lousy management!

Novice crafter much?

I love going blog-hopping from one art/craft/DIY blog to another. Most of them have link-y parties where anyone who has done something can link to the host blog to be featured.

Some links showed how the blogger has revamped furniture by re-painting it or Mod Podge-ing it. Some link in their DIY projects: bedroom redo, seasonal decorations, sewing crafts etc. Everybody seems to be crafting and showing their labor of love on at the blog-link parties.

Last night, Shahrin and I did some crafting too :p

Jungle Junction Wannabes.

I don't think a tutorial is necessary, this is a very simple craft, you just need a sheet of hard plastic and fold it in half, then draw the desired animal character. Take a scissor and cut around the character, and TADAA!! Shahrin now has a Jungle Junction collectibles. I did an Ellyvan, a Zooter and a Bungo character since they are the simplest to draw.

Double decker school bus.

This one is a very mediocre attempt at crafting heheh. I took an empty box and let Shahrin colored in the windows and doors with black marker. Initially we taped four 50 cent coins at the bottom for wheels but I had to take them off since Nazrin could choke on them. I'm thinking of looking for four bottle caps, poke a hole through them and poke a stick through 2 each to make the wheels. Shahrin says this is a double decker school bus. He took it to school today and showed it off to his teachers. I'm glad I did these crafts though I wouldn't be linking this post to any parties. Not yet.

Looking for the silver lining.

My moods are running amok these days. Sometimes I'd feel so happy; with the boys, with Ahmad, whom by the way has started telling me "I Love You" again *sigh*. Other times I'd feel so overwhelmed, by anything and everything.

I try reaching out to my FB friends but when their comments struck a nerve, I'd get defensive and feel even more depressed.

Maybe I have a bipolar disorder? Think I'll go search for that next.

I took a look at the clouds this morning, searching for a silver lining.

Hope I'll find it someday.

Bitter sweet memory.

KRYPTONITE
by 3 DOORS DOWN

I took a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind.
I left my body lying somewhere
In the sands of time.
But I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon.

I feel there's nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon.
After all I knew it had to be
Something to do with you.
I really don’t mind what happens now and then
As long as you’ll be my friend at the end.

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman.
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand.
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might, Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep.
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down. You stumbled
in and bumped your head, and if not
for me THEN you'd be dead.

I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground.

If I go crazy then will you still

Call me Superman.
If I’m alive and well,
Will you be there holding my hand.
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might, Kryptonite

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman.
If I’m alive and well, will you be there
Holding my hand.
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might, Kryptonite

(lyrics curtsy of Lyrics007)

This post is written in honor of my dearest friend, now residing in Down Under. She posted a video clip of this song by 3 Doors Down and I had a deja vu moment while watching it.

The memory was bitter sweet and it happened during my undergrad years. It happened during my 2nd year, 2nd semester. I was sitting at my table, studying for my final exams while listening to the radio. At that particular moment, Kryptonite was blaring on my favorite channel, Hitz.FM.

A few hours earlier, I had a breakdown, literally. I cried buckets and screamed into my pillow and very nearly trash my room out of frustration. It was over something my friends did that made me feel angry and left out. Since I didn't know who to turn to then, I wrote a letter* to my mother. I told her everything about what happened that day, I didn't leave anything out; my frustration, my feelings, how much I was hurting. I even made a pledge to her and myself; I will never let anyone made me feel that way again. After that cleansing purge, I washed my face, composed myself and pulled out my lecture notes. I did find myself still sniffing a little, blanking out a minute or two, I just couldn't concentrate. Till I heard Kryptonite on the radio. I knew the lyrics but they didn't really mean anything till that moment. As I sat there, listening to the song, thinking about what had happened, the lyrics clicked. I was finally able to let go of my resentment and paid full attention to my notes.

Two days later, during my exam, I was so relieved to see that I was totally prepared for it. Even more satisfying, I knew both the answers to a 2 choice questions marked 20 each. I studied them that day after I had my crying binge. I still smile today, thinking back on that exam day. It may have been my greatest achievement ever!

So, that's my story regarding the song. Thank you my friend for putting it up on FB. It made me feel strong again.

* Why a letter? I thought about calling her but knowing my mother, she would simply rush over from AS to Transkrian after talking to me. I didn't want her to worry about me, especially during exams, she wouldn't be able to sleep a wink knowing my situation. She's like that with all of us. I didn't even send the letter, I kept it in a folder for safekeeping. It had helped me a lot during my undergrads; whenever I feel down in the dumps, I'll read the letter to remind myself that I CAN!

Where are my pens?!

Dear Lord, I seem to have misplaced ALL of my pens!

I can't find a single one, not even in my secret stash.

Oh me! Oh my!

Every time I have one out to write, 5 minutes later, it'd be gone.

I used to have a pencil case full of assorted pens and pencils. Now, there is none.

Where, oh where can my pens be?

Reality TV shows.

There are a lot of reality TV shows going on these days, just to much I think.

I watched my 1st reality show, Akademi Fantasia S1 (AF) before I started my MSc. I only watch it on and off throughout the season without really 'getting into it'. The whole SMS voting thing just didn't seem right to me.It was more like a popularity contest rather than a talent contest, though Vince, the 1st winner is really a good singer.

Then there's the American Idol (AI). Same kind of judging format/structure. I did follow the season where Kelly Clarkson won The Idol, bits and pieces of it anyway. The show really put out very talented contestants on that stage; Fantasia Barino, Adam Lambert, Carrie Underwood etc but again, I personally think that SMS judges are more based on favoritism than talent alone. But arguably, other people would say that because the viewers are given the power to vote, they are able to choose very carefully who they want as the winner. Since the contestants are required to perform different songs for their weekly performances, the viewers (hard-core followers that is) can really assess their favorite contestant's abilities.

Other reality shows that caught my attention are America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, The Biggest Loser & TBL Asia, So You Think You Can Dance and Top Chef. Now these shows do not have the SMS voting format and judging are done by either by judges or by elimination. One other thing that makes me watch these shows more is because they are not musical talent contests. I love music and I know everyone love music too, so maybe that's why AF and AI have the kind of format that they have. By allowing the public vote via SMS, the music industry can take stock of the kind of singer the public would prefer better or the types of music that will be topping the charts.

Unlike the latter shows I've listed. These shows may attract only 1/3 or 2/3 of the population because of their specific form of contest. Not everyone would want to watch models strutting down the runway or a couple of chef running around in the kitchen. As for me, I followed these shows because of their connection in human-interest. Models entering ANTM and PR had things to prove to themselves and the world, they entered because its their dream. TBL/Asia entered because they wanted to change their lifestyle for the better. The same goes for SYTYCD and TC, every contestant entered because they have a dream. They work hard to make their dream come true and they are judged by what they have to show for it.

I'm not saying that the contestants in AF & AI entered just for the fun of it. They too have dreams; Adam Lambert spoke about putting his dream of becoming an artist 'out there' for the universe to make come true. And the positive energy he has surrounding this dream has put him in the position to succeed in AI and the music industry.
I just don't agree on the voting system, that's all.
I'm not doing this to get on anybody's nerve or provoke anything,
it's just my thought on the subject. Maybe it's also because I envy these people who were willing to open themselves and embrace the chance to make their dream come true, no matter what comes their way. I wish I have a dream too.

Shopping Day!

Last night, my hubby suddenly told me that if he's not called to go on a trip (when I say trip, it means he'd have to deliver stuff to customers somewhere, not the fancy kind of trip :p) we could go shopping.

Man, was I so excited! It felt like it has been ages since we last went shopping. Though the truth is it has only been 5 month since we crashed financially. Seems like his job is really taking off and I am so thankful for that at least. Our financial problem has put quite a strain on our marriage, so much so that I very nearly flipped and say "Sayonara" to him. I think I wrote something about it here, written in anger and a little bit of self-pity. The red flags are real but our financial situation back then pushed his flaws in my face and they were like the salt in my wound. I had wanted him to fix everything, to be the man of the house, provide and protect us. When he didn't, all the things said to me by everyone before we got married, resurfaced, making me feel angry. Mostly at myself for wanting him to be someone he's not.

Anyway, things are looking better and better these few weeks. He began giving me allowances again, he is playful and sweet again, as opposed to the 1st month of our financial crash. I am able to save some money again instead of withdrawing them. In hind sight, I think most of my anger comes from the feeling of being ripped off by my own hubby. I felt used and a little bit resentful because I had put a lot of effort into accumulating my savings. During the time friends spent their scholarship/school loan on stuff/entertainment, I did my best to be frugal. I like to think that I had used my money wisely and I have a solid account to prove it. It took me my whole undergrad years to save that much. Then, when we hit rock bottom financial-wise, we had to turn to my savings to tide us over, plus my parents allowances (oh the shame!), which really make me feel used since he has no savings of his own. It really hurts to see the numbers going down because it took me years to build that amount, and in just a few months, they are gone.

Anyhoo, he wasn't called away today, so we went to Tesco Taiping for a little R&R. First, we had lunch at McDonald's, Taiping Sentral. We ordered a large set of Big Mac, Oreo McFlurry and an ApplePie. The boys shared the fries and ice cream while my hubby and I split the Big Mac between us. Yuuummmyyyy! Then, we window-shopped for new clothes for the boys. Shahrin is growing taller and most of his long pants are now more of the 3-quarter type. Nazrin needs new clothes too since Shahrin can still wear most of his T-shirts and there's none to hand down to Nazrin. So, we went to a few shops selling children wear and the final counts are 2 short pants, 1 long pants and a sleeveless shirt for Shahrin while Nazrin only gets a pair of pants and a T-shirt. We either didn't like the design or couldn't yet afford the ones we liked. Overall, I think we did okay with the selections.

Then we headed out to Tesco to stock up our kitchen (not that there's going to be a lot of cooking) with our basic necessities; Shahrin's formula, sugar, Milo, mix veges, Vitagen and a few more stuff. While I was pushing the trolley down the aisle, bumping into people, selecting merchandise, I felt good about life again. I felt almost normal again. I am not the type who shops a lot but when I do shop, I always feel good about myself. I buy what I need and that's that.

We were like a normal middle class family, doing our shopping like any other normal families. It felt good to have our finances in order again.

ALHAMDULILLAH....

My first ever contest entry!

Gin & Jacqie Contest - Win a Sleek Joanne Laptop Bag!

This would be my first contest entry in blogosphere.
It is brought to you by Gin & Jacqie and Mom Bloggers Planet.
I almost did not want to join because;

#1- The competition is hot! I checked out the other entries and theirs' are
way better than mine, with pictures and links and pretty colorful fonts
and what nots. Mine would be boring and bleegh!

#2- As I was copying and editing my entry (about 2 hours ago), suddenly my
screen went blank! Dang! I forgot I was on battery mode!
Almost, ALMOST, didn't want to go through all this again
if not for these babies.

THE TWO BAGS I'M DROOLING OVER!

SIMPLE ALICIA

Oh how I drool just looking at this beauty. I love the color, the pattern and the additional changing mat. If I knew this bag existed 4 years ago, my life would have been smooth sailing, with regards to Shahrin off course. I used to lug around a granny's bag; black cotton with very little detailing, that has fallen apart 2 years ago due to excessive usage. I used it to put Shahrin's diapers, formula, change of clothes, baby wipes as well as my stuff. It was practical but not so attractive.

Now this bag here, it suits my style very well. I don't like loud prints or too much detailing, that was why I used the granny bag. I love this solid cyan color very much. The large compartment can easily hold more stuff compared to the bag I have now. And since I now have 2 boys instead of just one, Alicia can come in handy indeed. Check out its description here.

SASSY ANISH

I love the name! It coincides with mine, minus the H and I sure would like to be sassier! If I have this bag, I would work it like I mean it! Heheh! My laptop would love being stored in this slick baby. It has lots of room for not just the laptop but for other things as well. For me, this bag would be perfect since I can just use this one to store everything; purse, handphone, keys etc including the laptop and not have to carry a handbag. Neat!

Again, the simple design is what clicked the deal for me. I really prefer the no-nonsense kind of bags as oppose to loud prints and chains and embellishments. Nothing against those bags, because the bags at Gin & Jacqie's are just marvelous but they're just not my style. I love the strips and hopefully the vertical lines can make me look slimmer while I'm carrying the bag. Check out more here.

WHY MOMS SHOULD GET BAGS FROM GIN & JACQIE

Personally, I would love to win these two bags because they are what I need right now. They are necessities plus a heart's desire. Apart from that, I have never owned a designer-anything. Winning/owning a bag like these from Gin & Jacqie would really boost my self-confidence and image. I may be young (heh) but I look and act old. Wish someone would nominate me for a make over with Watsons. *wink wink*

Maybe other mommies out there, especially stay-at-home-moms like me could really benefit from owning sleek, stylish and affordable bags such as the bags available from Gin & Jacqie. We may not have too many opportunities to show them off but at least the few times we do, we can go out in style and be envied by other mommies out there.

p/s: If the entries are based on creativity, looks and attractiveness, then I can kiss the prizes goodbye. At least I've tried, right? That's better than giving up without a fight.

My Wish List Part 2.

I initially wanted to post this as a continuance of the story I read about Dr. Tererai Trent. It's about my own experience with 'wish lists'.

When I finally began accepting the fact that I am ready for L.O.V.E., I had a 'loose' wish list of the things I want in a boyfriend (well, I was still young when I began thinking about relationships, so marriage was not in the equation yet). It was just some of the things I thought would be nice to have in someone.

I wanted:

1- A guy who looks like Brad Pit. Seriously! Well, okay, maybe just having the jaw part would be nice because I know that they broke the mold after Brad, haha.

2- I love dimples, so a guy with dimples is a plus.

3- Nice looking eyes. They don't have to be bedroom-steamy-kind of eyes. Just the kind you can fall into while you are staring at each other.

4- 6-packs! Wooo wooo! Hot tamale train coming through!

5- Last but not least, someone who loves me for who I am, flabby belly and all.

Well, after a few false start and a couple of heart-breaks later, I gave up on finding love. The list had nothing to do with this. Circumstantial situations were not conducive for love back then, heheh. Anyway, thinking back, two of the guys I was really interested in and had friendly relationship with, have two things in common. They both have beautiful eyes and both are the quiet type. I personally approached one because he had such a strong impact on me but he honestly told me that he was not ready for love. He wanted to achieve his goal first. Last I heard, he is living the life he worked hard for and I am happy for him. The other one, I only admired from afar because he was already spoken for. I met these two guys at different stages of my life but they kind of epitome Mr. Right for me.

One day, I got one SMS from a stranger, wanting to make friends with me. Thinking that it was some prank played by a friend, I played along. You know, the usual; name? age? place? kind of introduction people usually use in chat-rooms. To cut a long story short, I finally found out that the stranger really was a stranger and not a friend and that he got my number from his friend who had mistakenly called my number a few month prior to him SMSing me.

By the by, we eventually meet after numerous SMS-es, and that 1st meeting was followed by more meetings, that eventually turned into dates. He has ALL the 5 criteria going on, except for the dimples, he only has one, on his left cheek. (Quick info: Shahrin has dimples on both cheeks while Nazrin follows in his father's cheek-step, hehe)

The stranger, now My hubby; has the strong, sharp jaw I love so much on Brad*, he has the quirky left-sided dimple, the smokey-sad eyes, abs as hard as rock** AND he loves me for me. Though I do feel like bashing him with a frying pan sometimes.

My Ahmad.

His most attractable feature is his eyes. He has such sad looking eyes. I always feel protective of him whenever I look at those smokey eyes. We never talk much while dating, but from his eyes, I could just sit there watching them for hours, wandering about his life, his thoughts, his dreams. Till today, whenever he is home, he would put his head in my lap and I would gently massage and caress his face, his eyes, always thinking, 'why do they look so sad', hoping to take away those sadness.

* I don't know why I love Brad Pit so much but I do know that he shares some similar features with Keanu Reeves, Johnny Depp, Matt Damon and Denzel Washington. Check out list #1, #3 and #4. Am I right?

**On our wedding night, I was officially introduced to his 6-pack abs. What a memory! I did told him of my list late into our relationship (I had a hard time believing his proclamation of love, even after a year of dating) and he began bragging about his abs. He even went as far as stating that he is better looking than Brad. Haha! He offered to show me his abs but since we were at KFC, I was spared the awkward moment of having to crush his ego by laughing at him. He is so scrawny and lanky, there is no way I'm going to believe he has a 6-pack. Now I do.


I pray that our love will last our lifetime, through bad and good moments, Amin. 1 4 3 Ahmad!

A.w.e.d.

Please check out this column.

The ultimate success story of the power of belief.

She wrote her goals on a piece of paper, put it in a tin and then she buried the tin. She put a rock on top of the hole she dug, to remind her of the goals she wish to accomplish.

She had. Accomplish them all.

Man.

I mean, woman.

That is just so awesome!

Maybe I should do the same. Hmm...

Feeling under the weather.

Last week, Shahrin got sick, he had the fever for 2 days. After he got well from that, he began coughing; dry cough that hurts my heart because he would whimper after wards. Now, he's running around with a runny nose.

Two days ago, Nazrin came down with a fever too. Just this morning, he has graduated to having the flu as well. And let me tell you, having a sick baby is not good at all. I am practically walking around like a zombie these past days. I can't get anything done because he would cry if I leave him, so I've had to carry him around while doing my chores. Then, there's trouble (<--quoting Thomas & His Friends). Whenever Shahrin sees me with Nazrin in my arms, he too would claim to be sick (well, technically he is) and wants me to hold him as well. *sigh*

Tonight, after dinner, I had to literally pin Nazrin down so that I can give him his medicine. At the sight of the syringe filled with his medicine, he began crying and shaking his head while trying to push it away. Breaks my heart. I am so sorry Sayang but it's for your own good.

p/s: checked in with him just now, his body doesn't feel so hot anymore. Hopefully, his fever broke. I can't stand looking at them with snot on their faces and crying because of the discomfort caused by fever. Wish I can take it all away from them.

Hopefully tomorrow would be a good day.

More about the Oprah Show.

Really, she should be paying me for giving her so much coverage. Not. Haha.

Anyway, anybody whose been reading my blog would know that I love, love, LOVE Oprah. She & her team are just marvelous, they come up with the best topics there is, topics that I don't even know exists, let alone have 'experts' studying them.

So far, I have learned 4 valuable lessons from watching her show. Although there are a lot more lessons to be learned, I am emphasizing on these 4 in connection to my current situation.

Here they are:

LESSON 1: PAY YOURSELF FIRST

Ideally, according to Suze Orman on Oprah, here and here, I should have at least 6-8 month worth of living expenses in an emergency cash fund. This account is untouchable, it is meant to be used only in emergencies. Then, another 20% of your pay should go into another savings account. This is THE account you should be paying yourself every time you get paid. If you get bonuses or inherited some money (Haa..) then, that money should go in here after you've settled your bills or mortgage or whatever.

LESSON 2: CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS

Happiness comes from within. You have to find what it is that makes you happy. Not just the fake smile for a neighbor or a rushed laugh over a lame joke. You really have to look deep within yourself to discover your true idea of happiness.
I have yet to find that. I mean, I am quite happy now but.... You see? That 'but' is the thing that's keeping you from being deliriously happy. I have not been able to find out my happy button and I still can't figure out my 'but' snooze button. It's driving me crazy!

LESSON 3: VISUALIZE

Oprah talked to a lot of successful people who stated that they VISUALIZE their success and stick to it no matter what or how long it takes. Oprah also talked about vision boards, where you can make a list of things you want or dreams you wish for and put it up on the vision board. This serves as a motivation for you as well as connecting with the positive energy of your environment. This has something to do with the law of attraction. I think I have not yet attracted anything or anyone who can really help me find the way out of this rut I'm currently in, even after I've put it out there, so to speak.

LESSON 4: BE PASSIONATE

Well, I think this point goes hand in hand with visualizing your dreams. When you already know what you what and how to get it, off course you'll be passionate about it, right?

So, I'm gonna hit the sack now, hoping that my 'dreams' will at least be sweet tonight. Get it, 'sweet dreams'? Heh.

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By the way, this is totally unrelated to the above post but I just had to let it out.

I ABSOLUTELY HATE TIFFANY on the show Top Chef on Diva Universal, Astro.

I have met too many Tiffanys in my days and I absolutely hate the way she was cocky, arrogant, so full of herself, and don't forget, snaky (SSSssssss, quoting Miguel). I started watching the show when it was already into its 5th elimination session. However, the minute I saw Tiffany and how she went on and on about this and that, I immediately hate her. I hated Stephen too but at least he was more laid back while she was in-your-face kind of cocky. Well, that's just my 2 cents.