Dear Mama,

"Sayang Mak, buat apa, kacau ka?"

Every time I answer the phone, this is how her greetings go.
She is always concerned about whether or not she's disturbing me with her calls.
No, Ma, you can call me anytime at all, I don't mind. In fact, I always look forward to giving you a call and tell you how lovely my life is.

*bawling like a baby*
.
.
.
.
*wiping off snot*

Hey Ma, do you remember our little chat in Ateh's room about 9 years ago?

I do.

You were right, every thing you said that night came true. Well, except for the part where I am supposed to be someone successful, attending a formal dinner at a fancy 5-star hotel.

And still, I couldn't deny my heart no matter how hard my head tells me not to.
Stupid heart.
Bleeding heart.

But still, if I knew then what I know now, would I have done things differently?
Maybe I would be more forceful about having our own place before getting married.
Maybe I would have pursue a career before having a baby.
Maybe.

Still, I pray for strength to deal with things I cannot change and wisdom to change what I can.

Ma, I love you!