Happy? Sad?

Remember this dog?
Well, she died today.
At around 1.30pm (I guess).
While I was out shopping.

She chose to die in front of our porch,
the place where she had always waited for me to come back.

I left the house with my boys in tow, heading for town.
She wasn't there then.
We got back, not even 45 minutes later,
to be greeted by her lifeless body,
right at the spot where she always were,
whenever she waited for us to come home.

Granted, her presence was a nuisance;
she would steal our shoes in a heart beat,
drag garbage into our front yard,
bark and howl all night,
I hate her for making me wash our stuff
again and again in dirt water to cleanse them,
but,
her death rattled me.

She died while in labor (again, I am just guessing),
I noticed her pregnant belly while helping Ahmad push her onto a plastic wrap.
Blood came gushing out from her genitalia when we tried to move her body.
From what I saw, I think her puppy got stuck and she couldn't push it through.
She must have been waiting for me to come home so that I could help her.

*tears*

Never in a million years would I thought that her death could affect me so.
Because *I* could be her. With the exception that in labor, I could have all the help and medical assistance at my side.

She died alone.